That’s Right Nate

I’ve been feeling sorry for Paul Potts lately.   In 2007, he was the ugly guy with the amazing operatic voice that took Britain’s Got Talent by storm.   As often happens with these things, he was replaced a few years later by an even uglier and equally talented person in Susan Boyle.   If you believe in evolutionary theory, England should continue to get uglier and more talented in the years to come.

I think what made Paul Potts and Susan Boyle such big sensations is that people couldn’t believe ugly people could be talented.   I think Carrie Prejean had a similar effect on people who did not believe a beautiful person could wax so eloquently on highly moral matters like opposite marriage.    Even Donald Trump said about her answer, “if her beauty wasn’t so great, nobody would have cared.”  I’d like to believe that Donald Trump let her keep her crown as Miss California USA for all the right reasons, but the truth is the pageant had already spent consider money on her breasts and they knew they were never going to get that money back.  I think they just didn’t want to throw good money after bad.

N0w, some of you are going to say, “but she posed for racy photos.   She’s not fit to be Miss California.”  However, is there really a better way to prostelitize for a heterosexual lifestyle?   What Carrie did was to sacrifice her dignity for the chance that gay men might see her lovely female form and be drawn to heterosexuality.  This is a woman who is beautiful, but stands up for her beliefs just like Anita Bryant before her.   I think there is a future for Miss Prejean as a Fox News anchor and if that is her dream, I truly hope she pursues it.  After all, there will be another beauty queen last year and she will become yesterday’s news the way that Paul Potts did.  She should strike while the iron is hot.

The documentary Battlefield Earth exposed many to the mysteries of scientology

A New Jersey teen pleaded guilty in federal court Monday to a computer hacking charge for his role in distributed denial-of-service attack that last year shuttered Church of Scientology websites.  Dmitriy Guzner, part of the online troublemaking group, Anonymous,  was charged with a felony count of unauthorized impairment of a protected computer for the January, 2008 distributed denial-of-service attack. The 19-year-old New Jersey teen faces a maximum 10 years when sentenced August 24.

This is a major victory for the forces of scientology who have found themselves targeted by this group of hackers much the same way that they must have felt 75 million years ago when Xenu brought billions of people to Earth in spacecraft resembling Douglas DC-8 airliners, stacked them around volcanoes and detonated hydrogen bombs in the volcanoes. The thetans then clustered together, stuck to the bodies of the living, and continue to do this today. Scientologists at advanced levels place considerable emphasis on isolating body thetans and neutralizing their ill effects.  That’s the best part about following a religions started by a science fiction writer—They tell much better stories than fishermen or shepards.

Its a shame to see an obiously bright 19 year old facing such serious criminal charges, but it is even sadder that he will probably never be able to get access to his Thetan powers by advancing through the levels of scientology.  I’m Christian all the way, but I’m kind of jealous that we don’t get super powers.  Any religion that can give us both Tom Cruise and Kirstie Alley can’t be all bad.

I used to believe that Bill O’Reilly was the King of the Boycotts after he got Spain to not prosecute members of the Bush administration for war crimes.   I thought of myself as being a close second after the success of my recent boycotts.  I have come to realize that Bill and I were just pikers compared to the real King of Boycotts.  Thomas George is the editor of BoycottLiberalism.com and I have to say he has got the most kick butt clearinghouse for information on just who and what t0 boycott.

I first uncovered this site when I was looking to see if anybody else was boycotting Star Trek and sure enough, since J.J. Abrams attended a fund raising dinner at Barbara Streisand’s place Star Trek makes the weekly boycott special list along with Jessica Biel’s Powder Blue, Donald Trump’s Think Like a Champion, and Caroline Rhea’s Love N’ Dancing.

This guy is totally hard core.   He’s not afraid to boycott liberals  like The Allman Brothers, Luther Vandross, Michael Bolton, Candice Bergen, and Lou Dobbs.   Judging by the careers of people like Hootie and the Blowfish and Lionel Richie it definitely looks like the boycotts are working too. There are literally hundreds of liberals the site encourages boycotting.

The website is not limited to boycotting either.   On it, Mister George talks about how he was saved by being born again and how we can also be saved.   My favorite feature is the predictions.  Here, the website has been hitting with uncanny regularity on some very detailed predictions.   Here are my favorites that have not been resolved yet:

1. Obama is in over his head
2. Biden will not like some of the things Obama tells him to do
3. Barack Obama does not have a clue about being President
4. Barack Obama is a phony
5. Barack Obama is arrogant

Will any of these predictions come true?  Who can say, but he did successfully predict that liberal values would lead to the decline of America.   This site has boycotted nearly every major motion picture and boycotted every network but Fox.   However, I’m sure with Wanda Sykes upcoming show on Fox next year that will soon change.  I believe this site is can be an inspiration to us all.

You would think the President could have spent a couple of extra $$ for Larry the Cable Guy.

I was watching the White House Correspondents Dinner tonight and I was disgusted with comedian Wanda Sykes.   Her act was so terrible that I thought Todd Palin was going to secede right then and there.   I’m sorry, but the White House Correspondence Dinner is no place for your political views.  You are on stage to entertain not to talk politics.  Wanda Sykes has a show coming out next year on Fox.  Who is this woman anyway?  I’ve never heard of her.   You would think the President of the United States would have been able to get Larry the Cable Guy or at least Jeff Foxworthy.

She accused Rush Limbaugh of treason simply because Rush said that he wanted the country to fail.  Excuse me, but that’s the love of a patriot.   Rush loves this country the way that some men love a woman who has done them wrong so they go through her mail,  call her voice mail just to hear her voice, and harass her future boyfriends.   That’s the kind of love Rush has for this country and its a lot more than what Wanda Sykes feels that’s for sure.  Sykes said he was strung out on Oxycontin which is simply a rumor started by people who wanted to discredit him.

Even Pat Buchanan described the dinner as the insiders (like Wanda Sykes) going after the outsiders (like Rush Limbaugh) in a harsh way.   I couldn’t agree more, but this didn’t start with Wanda, in 2006 they had Steven Colbert.   This guy’s act is to actually pretend to be a Republican, but if you listen closely he’s really mocking them.  How unfunny is that?   We need a much better class of comedian at these things–the country deserves it.

By the way, it occurse to me that although Obama claims he isn’t Muslim I’ve seen him eat many times.   Just the other day he had a hamburger.  However, I’ve never seen him order a pork product–very interesting.

I have to admit that I had big hopes for the new Star Trek movie.   I had never cared much for the original with its message that the United Nations…I mean Federation would save us all.  However, the new movie promised to replace all that lovey dovey garbage with a healthy dose of explosions.  I couldn’t have been more turned off if the screen play had been written by Nancy Pelosi and Harry Reid.

In this case The Romulans are used to represent the United States.   The big weapon they use is a drill.   Hmm, just like the United States drilling for oil in the Middle East.   After they have attacked with their drill, the Romulans unleash their ultimate weapon which they refer to as red matter which is so powerful that even a small drop creates a black hole that then consumes everything.   I literally groaned when I saw this thinly veiled reference to American capitalism.

The Enterprise is made up of the original motley collection of ethnics with the only American being a screw up from Iowa who gets it right in the end.   It was funny that the creators decided to base James Kirk on their opinion of Tom Harken, but it was more funny sad than funny ha ha.  If Kirk was Harken, then Spock was meant to be a Middle-Easterner with a culture that we Westerners would never understand.  In the ultimate bit of disrespect for survivors of terrorism, Spock actually destroyed the Romulans by crashing his ship into theirs in a nod to 9/11.

The producers even felt the need to comment on waterboarding by showing Pike strapped to a board in a pool of water.   Though the aliens never waterboarded him on screen, it was clearly intended.   In the  end the movie depicts America’s final collapse as being the result of our own capitalistic society which we have unleashed on the rest of the world.

Excuse me for not wanting to be preached at during the movies, but this is not your father’s Star Trek…its worse.   Even Dr. McCoy was turned into an advertisement for socialized medicine.   I’m not going to call for a boycott of this movie, but if you see it you’re either a liberal or have $10 to waste being preached at.  To rate Star Trek I set my phaser to crappy.

Were the BYU Cougars robbed of the National Championship?

A recent article in the Washington Examiner has stirred up a bit of controversy.  In it the commentator Byron York claimed that Obama’s support was inflated in polls because of his extremely high popularity with African-Americans.  Some on the left have called York’s argument racist in that he seeks to discount African-Americans, but I see a lot of merit to it.  I wanted to look at the effect of African-Americans on one poll in particular.

In the College Football Polls at the end of the 2009 season, Florida ended the season ranked number 1, Brigham Young was only ranked 23rd with a 10-3 record.  However, Florida had a considerably larger portion of their team made up of African-Americans.  Whether Cougar QB Max Hall was handing off to Harvey Unga or passing downfield to Austin Collie, the Brigham Young team showed they could win without all but a handful of  African-American players.   Florida, however, chose to stuff their roster full of players of color.  Tom Tebow may be white, but he’d have a hard time moving the ball without his black teammates.   Most of the best players on Florida are all African-American.

Now, just like Byron York, some people on the left are going to accuse me of racism.  There is nothing wrong with football players of color.   My point is, when teams are so stacked with African-Americans, the work of many gifted white players is overshadowed just as the overwhelming support of blacks is making Obama look much more popular than he really is among Americans.  The obvious answer in political polls is to simply count black opinions for less.   Perhaps we could count them for 3/5 what we count white opinions for.   However, fixing the final football polls is much tougher.  I have several good suggestions though.

• Increase the importance of kicking and punting in football.   These are areas that white people traditionally excel at.
• De emphasize speed in the game by requiring players to wear weighted shoes if they run a 40 yard dash in under 4.7 seconds
• Reserve 4 of the 8 BCS  slots for majority white teams

Until we take steps like these, white teams will continue to be deprived their place at the table.  Who is the greatest white running back in American football?  I honestly can’t say.

[I am very sorry for my lack of articles recently.   Part of the reason for the delay is that I have been in discussions with Congressman Jack Kimble (R-CA) about contributing another guest article to my blog.   I feel very fortunate to have an important member of the House of Representatives like Smiling Jack Kimble as a friend of the blog.]

I’d like to extend a very hearty thank you to Nate for giving me this forum.  I can’t deny that the Republican Party has been in a bit of a fix lately.   There is no need for a pity parade for us though, we will be back.   I’m hear not to preach to you so much as to hear from you.   What do you want from the Republican party?   This has become a big focus for me.  Inspired by Jeb Bush, Eric Cantor, and Mitt Romney I have taken it upon myself to launch a listenning tour.  The four of us represent the new face of the Republican Party and we are voracious to hear what this country wants.

I kicked off my Rooty Tooty Republican listening tour at the Gracy Heights Dennys.   Co-Sponsored by the Society for Real American Ideas, I was thrilled to see a very enthusiastic tourout for the kickoff.  The waitress had to put two tables together just to accomodate us and the people at the next table were eavesdropping the whole time. I really love these kind of events because they give me a chance to put on my pair of blue jeans, roll up my sleeves, and talk to Joe and Jane Six-Pack and their grandparents.

Now, all the people I talked to were Republican and they voted for John McCain in the last election, but that doesn’t mean that they didn’t let me have it.  They were mad that during the election we didn’t make a bigger deal over Obama being a secret Muslim or that he was not born in this country.  A kind old grandmotherly woman named Gladys told me that “I think he’s the same guy as Osama bin-laden.  Their names are almost the same.   Has anybody ever seen them together?”  I think we definitely made a mistake not listening to courageous Americans like these.   They also were mad that we didn’t make Rudolph Giuliani release the Michelle Obama whitey tape which he has secreted away.

On the economy, the voters were really concerned that Obama was going to raise their taxes.  I told them that they had reason to worry and let them know that if they don’t see a tax increase this year it is probably because their children didn’t want to upset them and lied about how much they actually owed.  This spurred a very large discussion about wasteful government programs like Medicaid and PBS.   They wanted to know if the taxpayers were funding a television station, why we couldn’t get new episodes of Matlock.  I really couldn’t give them an answer.

Ralph told a harrowing story of having an African-American come to his home to fix his cable.   He was very frightened by the experience, but he got through the experience because he knew that he had a .38 tucked into the cushion of his couch.  He was worried about how he would react in situations like that if he didn’t know protection was just an arm’s reach away.  I promised him, I would not give up my fight to protect second amendment rights.

All in all, it was a great chance for me to connect with you the voters.   I am definitely looking for your ideas for where we can take this party.  The country has been on the wrong path for the past 4 months, but we can take it back on a steady course if we all pull together.  As always, thanks for the forum Nate.

As you know, winning the Natie in 2008 was a great moment indeed for this blog.  This year, award season has started early as we have been honored by Zenyeta with the prestigious…Actually I don’t know what its called, but we one it.   Unfortunately, like most awards there are strings attached.  I have no doubt, that I will soon be hit up for money for some foundation or scholarship fund that I’ll be expected to contribute to as an award winner.  As an award winner, I am tasked with selecting other blogs for the committee.  Those nominees are below:

Drinking Liberally in New Milford

Scootmandubious

Rotten Little Girls

Just an Earthbound Misfit

Equa Yona

Finally, I am supposed to write 10 honest things about myself:

1. I often have trouble expressing myself clearly because other people don’t share my enormous intellect.

2. Sometimes, I think I love too much

3. I believe that I am the greatest hope for the Republican party taking the White House in 2012

4. I believe that Obama’s iron fisted fascism is more frightening than his Pollyanna world view.

5. I rooted for the asteroid in Armageddon and never understood why it wouldn’t have been easier to teach astronauts to drill rather than teach drillers to be astronauts.

6. I taught myself English at a very young age by listening to my parents and I get really irritated when others are too lazy to do so.

7. I once considered voting for a Democrat to impress a girl.  Then I realized I could just tell her I did.

8. My bed is shaped like a rocket ship.

9. I love movie montages where characters try on clothes

10. I know 14 ways to disable an attacker with my barehands, a coat hanger, and a can of bug spray.

As a subscriber to Current Biology, I was excited to see that the newest issue featured an amazing article called “Experimental evidence for synchronization to a musical beat in a nonhuman animal.”   The study was led by Adena Schachner, a doctoral candidate in psychology at Harvard who postulated,”Our analyses showed that these birds’ movements were more lined up with the musical beat than we’d expect by chance.”

Clearly, as you can see in the video, those birds are getting jiggy with it.  The theory is that animals that can vocalize are also the ones that are able to synchronize with a beat.  This is tremendous news for white males who in about 60-70% of all cases, are born without the ability to synchronize.   If scientists are able to determine if this is a phenomenon caused by a specific gene, they may well be able to fix this problem for many white men.

In the above clip, Ricky Gervais from the British version of the American show The Office, is shown comically demonstrating a white man’s inability to dance.  Unfortunately, this mocking often makes things even more difficult for self-concious sufferers of scynchronization difficulties.

I have recently come across a great website called All Voices.  The site is kind of like Wickipedia, but with the exacting journalistic standards of Fox News.   Now any aspiring reporter can create their own stories and post them on the site.   Best of all, you aren’t limited by the facts.  After enough people read and support your article, it basically becomes fact.  This allows reporters to start with a good story and work their way out to find actual facts.

That’s what I did with my story, Democrats Over 8 Times More Likely to get Swine Flu.   I didn’t worry about facts, though I could certainly see how my story could be factual.  Simply by reporting it, I have credibility.  However, on the internet nothing promotes credibility like popularity.  I’d really appreciate it if you could go to my story and give it a thumbs up.   I’d like to see it really climb through the ratings and displace other potentially factual news stories.  My loyal readers, I’m asking you to please do this favor for me.