That’s Right Nate

Recently, I your humble blogger posted an excerpt of my new novel for National Novel Writing Month.   President Lightning, which I am adapting from a screenplay by the same name, is the powerful story of 1936 Olympics.  When the Nazis kidnap Jesse Owens, FDR is left with no choice, but to compete in Jesse Owens’ events himself at the Olympic Games.   Aided by former President Herbert Hoover, Roosevelt’s time traveling dog Fala, and an irascible African-American White House Maid named Dorothy, the President has to dig deep within himself to find the stuff that all Americans have inside.  He not only learns to walk again, but abandons his radical liberal ideas for supplyside economics and takes the Germans on at their own game.   President Lightning–he was born to lead, but he was made to run.

Anyway, based on one small section of the novel of less than 40o words, the liberal media elite have already started attacking my story.   In this case, the culprit is the website Scottish Terrier and Dog News — a well known bastion of liberal and even socialist ideology on the web subtlety buried beneath a layer of cute puppies in golfing hats.   Ann Brocklehurst, the blog’s owner, described my novel as “really bad writing.” Well Ann,  I would expect such attacks from more liberal publications like The Nation or Cat Fancy, but I had previously held your website to a higher standard.

Ann Brocklehurst describes herself as an investigative reporter and perhaps that is why she feels it so necessary to “take down the man”, but as I looked further at her background on google I noticed telltale signs of her liberal elitism.   She seems to follow the socialized Canadian news media and the ultra liberal New York Times quite closely and while she professes a love for Scottish Terriers, she is also the proprietor of The Daily Dachshund and Dog News.   So which is it Ann?  Are you a Scottish Terrier lover or a Dachshund devotee?  Perhaps you should have thought of this before you chose to start a feud with myself and the power of my blog.   What I did not see when researching my attacker was anything in her background that would indicate that she had published a successful novel herself.   Are any of us really surprised?

It’s national novel writing month folks and though long time readers know I’m no fan of the printed word, I’ve been trying to sell my screenplay President Lightning. Unfortunately, Hollywood is so liberal, I’ve hit a brick wall.  If any of you are movie people reading this, let’s do lunch.   Here’s my pitch:

The year is 1936 and a dark storm is brewing over Europe.   In Germany, a mad man is planning to prove the superiority of the Aryan people when he hosts the Olympics in Berlin.   When Hitler’s goons kidnap Jesse Owens, it looks like nobody will be able to stand up to the Nazis.   In New York, a weak bodied man sits in the Oval Office as his predecessor tells him to grow a backbone.   When the hopes of the free world rest on you, even a cripple needs to stand up for his country.  He was born to lead, but he was made to run.  Franklin Delano Roosevelt is President Lightning.

It has been suggested to me that if I had a novel published, people would take my screenplay more seriously so this month I’m going to work on producing President Lightning, the novel.   I don’t know what the market for historical fiction is, but I can’t see how this novel doesn’t sell.   Keep in mind that the idea is to write the whole novel before revising it, so I know it’s a little rough.

Chapter 4: The Reckoning

Jesse Owens paced inside his cold steel cell.   Not much bigger than a couple of phone booths, the only light Jesse could see came through a the cell bars.   Jesse rested his powerful athletic body in the corner and began to sing to himself.   It was the old spirituals that comforted Jesse even now in his confinement in Berlin.   A lot of lesser men would have been praying for somebody to rescue him, but being a Republican was as natural to Jesse as being a runner was.  He was going to pull himself up by his own boot steps.

A half a world away, President Roosevelt took a deep breath and stretched his legs on the south lawn of the White House.   Standing next to him was Herbert Hoover, dressed in a long coat and his Stanford scarf.   Tucked under his right arm was Roosevelt’s faithful Scottish Terrier Fala.

“Is this really necessary Herbie?” mumbled the President under his breath.

“You know it is Franklin.   I don’t want you just fast, I want you quick too.  Now get to it,”  with that Hoover tossed the startled dog to the ground and Roosevelt began to scamper after him.

“Damn you Hoover, why does everything have to be so hard?” coughed Roosevelt, regretting his morning smoke.

“Because anything worth having is going to be hard Franklin.  You Democrats need to learn that.   It can’t all be government hand outs,” laughed Hoover.

And so it began.   Carefully, hidden from view of the Washington press corps, Hoover trained Roosevelt every day.   By May, the Olympics were looming and Roosevelt’s 100 meter time was still only 10.6, a full .3 seconds slower than Jesse Owens.   He’d never be able to compete with the Germans at this rate.   He couldn’t help, but wonder why winning meant so much to him now.   He was brought up to believe that participating in athletic competition was victory.   Now, he was training with the single minded determination he didn’t know he had within himself.   He knew now, he would do whatever it took to run their socks off.

There's no reason that citizens like these couldn't be armed and patroling urban streets within 5 weeks.

Unlike most things that President Obama likes, I have become a big fan of Teach for America.   The program allows privileged white 20-somethings to go into urban schools and like modern day Jane Goodall’s see poor children in their native habitat–school.   These exceptional young men and women spend 2 years teaching in an urban school while they contemplate what to do with the rest of their lives and move back home with mom and dad.   It occurs to me that the only thing missing from this great program is guns.   Just as there are inequities in the country’s schools, there is also tremendous inequality in the police protection enjoyed by residents of this country.

One of the trademarks of Teach for America is it’s alternative teacher training program.   Afterall, if you’re only going to teach 2 years, it doesn’t make a lot of sense to spend 4 years learning to do the job.   I see absolutely no reason why we can’t bring the same approach to law enforcement.   A lot of the training that cops receive really isn’t necessary for the average police officer’s daily routine.   If we can take our most promising college graduates from schools like Princeton, Yale, and even Brown, and we give them a crash course in basic police procedure, we should be able to have them armed and on the streets in 5 weeks, the same length of time it takes Teach for America to train new teachers.

What’s more, Teach for America alums often wind up in leadership positions in education.   Think how much more smoothly a big city police department would run with a gifted young go getter with a couple years of police experience in charge.    One problem that big city police departments face is cops who have been on the job for a long time and have been burned out by the things they have seen.   Police for America members would bring fresh enthusiasm to law enforcement and would do so for a fraction of the cost of veteran police officers.  Critics often complain that less than 30% of Teach for America teachers stay in the classroom after their two year commitment and I am sure that would be true of Police for America, but that’s OK–there are always new graduates from college drawn to the excitement and danger of exploring the urban setting.