That’s Right Nate

Last night, like hundreds of Americans I stayed up past 1:00 in the morning to watch the Senate ram health care down the throat of the American people.   At first I was simply sad, after all according to a recent CNN poll, 61% of Americans disapprove of the current health care legislation.   That’s barely 20% less than disapprove of our Republicans in congress and certainly not  a mandate.  In fact 2/3 of the people who disapproved actually wanted single payer coverage or at least a vigorous public option.   I have to admit that after the vote I felt saddened and defeated. However, when I read what the top conservatives on Twitter were saying, I realized that I had witnessed the death of a nation.

This health care outrage that the Democrats forced on the American people with only 60% of the Senate voting for it will destroy the Republic.   Our founding fathers fought against socialism over 50 years before it was invented because they knew what it would do to the Republic and this bill is socialism.   America will be destroyed, but frankly there isn’t much left of it anyway.  Obama and his unlawful usurping of power has brought us to this.

Unfortunately, the vote was so late that I had to go to bed shortly after.  I know that this bill is socialism and I know it will destroy the country, but I had to leave so early that I never found out why it was socialism or why it would destroy this country.   I mean, I know there are mandates in the bill requiring people to buy life insurance, but the same thing exists for car insurance.  I know it will cover some people who are otherwise uninsured, but Medicaid and Medicare already do that.   I know it’s socialism, but so is Social Security and we’ve had that for decades.  I guess my problem is that while I know that health care will destroy the country, I don’t get how.   I tried checking the main stream media today, but you know how they are.   Can somebody please help explain to me why this health care bill will destroy the country?

This week, the Republicans in the Senate attempted to filibuster funding for our troops in Afghanistan and Iraq.   They were ultimately defeated 63-33 on the vote, but a lot of people still don’t understand why 33 of the 40 members in the Republican caucus would oppose troop funding.   Since the vote Republicans have been accused of not supporting our troops, being hypocritical, and not wanting our brave men and women in the middle east to have combat armor.

Well, I have news for these Democrats.   Nobody supports our troops more than the Republican party.   If you don’t believe me listen to a Republican Senator and a Democrat Senator speak.  Look how many times the Republican will mention the troops and how rarely the Democrat does.   I think being remembered is a lot more important to the brave men and women overseas than any funding would be.   My mother taught me when I was a little boy, that it’s the thought that counts.

Now, about the body armor—I DON”T WANT OUR TROOPS TO GET BODY ARMOR.   Why not?   Face it, with the educational system in this country and the lowered standards by our armed forces, the men and women of our military are as brave as they come, but they’re not necessarily too bright.   If you give these 18 year olds body armor, they’re going to think that they’re even more immortal than they already do.   I think the body armor actually increases the risk these green troops face.   It works the same way that providing teen age drivers with seatbelts or the working poor with health care does.

Defense Secretary Robert M. Gates sent Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell (R-Ky.) a blistering letter Thursday warning of a “serious disruption” in the military’s ability to pay troops. “It is inconceivable to me that such a situation would be permitted to occur with U.S. forces actively deployed in combat,” Gates wrote.

I guess somebody needs to learn that there are more important things than money.

When most people think of Illinois, they think of Chicago, but there’s a lot more to this state than Chicago.   There are hard working people all over this great state like the men and women of Bloomington who make Beer Nuts or the Catepillar workers in Peoria who make tractors.   Decatur is the home of the country’s first corn oil mill and the World’s Largest Catsup Bottle is in Collinsville.   These are the hard working salt of the Earth types.   There are a lot of Joe Six Packs and hockey mom’s in downstate Illinois or there would be if they played more hockey and less basketball.

This week, President Obama endangered this lifestyle by announcing that up to 100 Gitmo detainees would be sent to a Super Max prison in Thomson, Illinois.   Now, this country is certainly capable of holding mass murderers, mafia dons, and gang leaders in prison, but these terrorists are Muslims who would love nothing more than to destroy our way of life.  Considering how fast we are doing this ourselves, they will be extra motivated to cause destruction.  During World War II many German POWs were imprisoned in rural Wisconsin.  Do you know what happened?  After the war, they moved there.   When the war on terror is over, do we really want these terrorists moving to rural Illinois?  I sure don’t.

With the United States holding Muslim prisoners in rural Illinois.  It becomes a very tempting target for al-qaeda.   Just think of the damage they could inflict on American morale by destroying the world’s largest catsup bottle, the world’s largest cross in Effingham, or raiding the Illinois Military Museum in Springfield and taking Santa Ana’s captured leg.   I doubt that terrorists had their sites on any of these places before Obama decided to house their brethren at Thomson.

Some people believe that rather than being judgmental, God is all loving.  However, you have to believe that by now God had a love/ hate relationship with Oral Roberts who died yesterday at the age of 91.    Their contentious relationship began in 1977 when a 900 foot tall Jesus appeared to Oral and told him to build the City of Faith Medical Center and guaranteed it would be a success.   Roberts did what he was told and supposedly God was pleased.

God realized that Oral was a man who could get things done and Jesus appeared to him in person, not as a vision, to tell him to find a cure for cancer.  Unfortunately, 26 years later and Jesus must have gotten quite impatient.  In fact, God threatened to kill Roberts in 1987 if he didn’t raise an $8,000,000 ransom.   Fortunately, Roberts was able to raise the money, which he used to create scholarships for City of Faith.  Unfortunately, Roberts had to shut down City of Faith two years later.   To say God was peeved would be an understatement.

Also, in the late 1980s God was dragged into the whole Jim Bakker scandal when Roberts claimed that he had direct revelation from Jesus that Bakker was innocent.   This despite the fact that God has always preferred to avoid the limelight and work instead through intermediaries and burning plants.   With Roberts dead, he clearly has a lot to answer for.   He has left his ministries in the capable hands of his son, Richard “Anal” Roberts who will presumably carry on his father’s good works.   Unfortunately, at the time of writing this, Jesus could not be reached for comment.

This week the White House settled two lawsuits from activist groups filed in 2007 related to millions of missing White House emails.  While I am unhappy to see the Obama White House once again surrendering and I don’t believe what went on during the Bush administration is anybody’s business, I do believe the emails shine a very interesting light on the Bush administration.  Here are a few select emails that have been released that illuminate life in the White House.

As you can see these emails provide us a lot of insight.  Whether dealing with a deposed Nigerian prince, world events, or staff issues, President Bush was on top of the ball and kept this country moving in the right direction for the past 8 years.  Click on any of the emails to see them better.

One of the untruths frequently repeated by Democrats is that Republicans are the party of no.   They claim that we have no ideas to improve things and instead spend all of our time trying to stop their plans with nothing of our own to offer.   We’ve been very critical of Obama’s stimulus plan for the economy, but the media has ignored our own plans for economic recovery.   Currently, one problem that small businesses are feeling right now is that banks are refusing to lend money and instead sitting on very strong balance sheets after the TARP bailout.

RNC Chairman Michael Steele was on the Today Show today and gave his proposal for the banks.   It was  such a simple idea, I’m surprised nobody else had thought of it.   With the economy suffering, this is the perfect time to cut the unemployment tax.   By doing this, business will spend less money paying for people who aren’t even working anymore and have more money to spend expanding.

Steele told Matt Lauer, “Well, I think, first off, he should recognize that banks aren’t going to lend money to people who can’t pay them back. … So there’s — there’s this whole cycle of not understanding exactly how the economy works with respect to small-business owners. Take that pressure off of them.  Let’s…let’s eliminate the capital gains tax.  let’s reduce the unemployment tax.”

The added advantage is that by eliminating unemployment benefits or at least reducing them with a massive cut to the unemployment tax, being jobless will no longer be rewarded.  This will get all of the people who could be working right now, but choose to stay at home collecting their unemployment checks, back into the workforce.   While I have no idea exactly how many people that is, I wouldn’t be surprised to see the unemployment rate cut in half.   It kind of reminds me of No Child Left Behind where schools that are falling behind get their budgets cut.   Once again, Michael Steele has the pulse of the nation.

One thing that has been omitted from the main stream media’s reporting of the current Tiger Woods marriage fiasco is exactly what President Obama knew and when he knew it.  It would be pure folly to assume that Wood would automatically confide in Obama beause they are both black.  However, their connection is far closer than that.   Remember, while both Woods and Obama have ties to the black community, they also have ties to the Indonesian community.  It is quite possible that like Obama, Woods may also be a secret Muslim for all we know.

As other conservative blogs have pointed out, the similarities between Obama and Woods are astounding.   In the case of Tiger Woods, he was packaged by the media as one of the greatest golfer’s of all time, but turned out to be a bust because of his infidelity.   While Obama has appeared to be faithful to his wife, he was falsely held up as a great public speaker.  However, I’m not as interested in their commonalities as I am in their shared background.  I believe that there can be no doubt that Tiger Woods and Barack Obama have confided in each other.   The only question is what did Obama know about Woods’ affairs and when did he know it?

If Obama did know of Woods’ infidelity he had a responsibility to share this with Tiger’s wife and the American people.  By remaining silent Obama has caused a national tragedy–one that the Bush administration was able to avoid.  At this point, only a special prosecutor can get to the bottom of this tangled web of deceit and lies. If, as I suspect, Obama has confided in Woods about his nationality and Muslim beliefs, it may well be a matter of national security that a special prosecutor be appointed to look at the Woods affairs and subsequent cover up.   Could his stonewalling of police been to protect President Obama?  I would not be surprised.

It’s been a very busy day for me today.   I took most of the afternoon and evening filling out Christmas cards to the friends and family who are so important to me.   Since as readers of my blog you are all part of my extended family, I thought I’d share this with you as well:

Dear Friend or Family Member,

This Christmas Card feels like it could be the last one I ever send.   Like gun ownership, private health care, and anything that gives me joy, it has a most tenuous existence under the reign of Barrack Obama.  I have to wonder, why does he hate the Baby Jesus so?   I promised Emily that I would not dwell on politics for the entire Christmas letter again this year, but I really fear for our country’s future.

Last year’s red eye and watery puss is thankfully gone.  Unfortunately, this Summer was the Summer of shingles.   It wasn’t as much a rash as a tingling sensation in my legs, but my glands were so swollen I looked like a puffer fish.   I recovered in time to receive an honorary associate’s degree from Sawyer Community College.  This Fall has been much better although I’ve been going through Imodium like candy, due to recurring diarrhea.  I hope that you all have been blessed with great health this year.

Emily finally lost 5 pounds.   She has such a pretty face and I think if she could drop another 15 and get down to 105 or so, she’d be much happier.   At 5’7″ she just shouldn’t be tipping the scales at 120.   She’s adjusting well to the 7th grade and has a crush on Tom Newman.   Since Tom’s family gets this letter, maybe this will bring the two of them together.   I bet if he talked to her about losing weight it would help.   Last year I mentioned that Emily was getting her period and I can confirm that she is definitely growing up.

This hasn’t been a great 2009, but I have huge plans for the future.  In the weeks and months I’ll be calling most of you to tell you all about a fantastic money making opportunity.  I am convinced that in the years to come, the smoothie and juice bar market will be booming.   As a friend of mine or family member, I am able to set you up with your own smoothie and juice bar franchise.   We can have you opened and operational just in time for the Summer.  I’ll tell you more when I call.

The storage business has been great, but I’ve had to hire more security.  The way we’ve thrived in this rough economy is by increasing the amount of stuff we’re selling from customers who fell behind on payments.   Unfortunately, we’ve had a problem with people showing up a few days late and trashing my office when they find out their stuff is gone.   I’m sorry, but 1st of the month is 1st of the month.  The worst is when they get angry about sentimental value.   If I can get $5 for a painting of your parents, hey I’ve got to make a buck too.

I am finally over Kimberly, but it is so hard just to meet a nice professional woman between 21 and 28.  I’d consider an older woman, but you know how woman my age let themselves go.  Its been 8 years since the divorce and I am still a bit bitter about it.  The details are available assuming you kept past Christmas letters, but the only decent thing to come out of my marriage is Emily.  She’s still a straight A student, but it’s time for her to quit experimenting with liberalism.  I blame her school for that the same way I blame her mom for the genes that make her bloat and retain water.

I’ve been trying to keep in touch with the extended family.   Aunt Patty and Walter are doing better since Patty broke her hip in May.   That’s tough for a woman her age and I hope they have some quality of life yet.  If I break a hip at that age, just shoot me (Patty and Walter, I’m sure you have a long and happy life ahead of you).   Larry Peele got out of prison in Summer and unfortunately, was back in by Fall.  I think he’s got a great case for entrapment.   Katie continues to drive the boys crazy, while getting straight A’s and captaining cheerleading.  I wish her and Emily were closer.  I think she could teach Emily a lot  about making  herself more presentable.  Steve and Janet moved out to Texas.   Steve is still a pest on my blog.   I guess in the Christmas spirit we can wish the Catholics a Merry Christmas too.   They’ll have plenty to explain in the afterlife as well Barrack Hussein Obama.

I had to fight with Kimberly over it, but I will have Emily for Christmas Eve.  Then it’s my annual Christmas Day Taxi Driver marathon.  I watched it 6 times last year, but that’s nothing like the 9 times I watched it the year that Kimberly left me.

I hope you and all your families have a Merry Christmas and a terrific 2010!!

Nate Peele

Finally, us Christians seem to be winning the War on Christmas.   There were two news stories that caught my eye this week and both spelled overwhelming victories for the forces of good and decency.   First, was Senator Orin Hatch.   Hatch who is a Christian (or at least a Mormon) has recorded a video for his song Eight Days of Hanukkah and it looks like a winner.

For years now, Jews have been encroaching on our Christmas music for years.   From Irving Berlin with White Christmas to Barbara Streisand and Neil Diamond recording Christmas albums.  No wonder the holiday became so secularized.   Even Bob Dylan recorded a Christmas CD this year.   Let’s see how they like having their holiday music created by a Mormon.  Now please don’t write in accusing me of being anti-Semitic, nothing could be further from the truth.   Just as Christians were given Jesus to bring us all the gift of eternal life, Jews had their lamp oil last for 8 whole days.  That oil thing is pretty cool.

The other story I saw involved the fine folks at Boss Creations.Net who have invented the Christ-mas tree.  This particular Christmas tree is a combination between a traditional Christmas tree and a rugged wooden cross.   It isn’t only a great conversation piece, but also a reminder that no matter how festive your Christmas tree may be, it’s only a group of judgmental pharisees, some nails, and a hammer away from a crucifixion.  I always thought that in the rush to blame the Jews for crucifying Jesus, that the wood itself got off way too easy.  We’re so eager nowadays to embrace nature that we forget about some of the truly despicable things from the crucifixion through lynchings, that tress have been responsible for.  The War on Christmas is far from over, but for the first time in a long time, it looks like we’ve got the upper hand.   Christians 1, Trees 0.

The prevalence of teacher data has made for a wonderful past time for my buddies and I.    As soon as Fantasy Football season ends, we begin to play a game that I invented called Fantasy School.   Now that state test results are available for every grade and every school in Illinois, it’s rather easy to draft teachers just like you would draft football players.   It’s just as exciting as other fantasy sports and gives you a rooting interest in standardized tests that you don’t normally care about.  The advantage of starting the league now, is the schools are fairly settled and you are less likely to have a student transfer or a surprise pregnancy spoiling your fantasy season.

The rules are rather simple.   You must select a faculty consisting of the following teachers:

• Two for each of the 8 primary grades
• Two substitute teachers taken from any grade
• One ESL teacher
• One Special Ed Teacher
• We are looking forward to President’s Physical Fitness results being online soon so that we can draft gym teachers.

The draft lasts 20 rounds and this year my Ronald Reagan Elementary School is looking to improve on last year’s 5th place finish out of 16 schools.   I was let down by my 6th and 3rd grade faculty.   Fortunately, there is no such thing as tenure in Fantasy School and they have been let go.   There are several scoring options, but we go by student improvement.   I have been pouring through newspapers and websites looking for  the teachers who I think will be on the top of their games.   I found out one of my early favorites is pregnant and another one won the Golden Apple and is missing half the year on sabbatical.

Because we go by the amount of improvement, taking the best students isn’t enough.  If some teacher out in the wealthy suburbs takes on  a homeroom where 95% of the students are meeting or exceeding standards, they can only get you 5 points and in fact they’ll probably go down.   On the other hand, a teacher at an inner city school who brings up students from 30% meeting standards to 52% meeting standards is going to win you the pot at the end of the year.  I try and look for young teachers who are still worried about their job and more likely to teach to the test.   We’ll be getting together to draft in a few weeks.  I’ll give you a progress report then.  Any teachers out there that I should be scouting?