That’s Right Nate

You may have noticed an unusual lack of posts from me the past 2 days.   This is because of an overwhelming outrage I am feeling over my treatment at the Chicago American Girl Place on Michigan Avenue.  My friend Tom and I showed up at 4PM for what was advertised as the biggest tea party event in Chicago.   This seemed like the perfect place to let lose my pent up rage over the passing of the health care bill.   I had a Stop the Socialist Takeover of Medicine Sign that shows Obama hitting a doctor with a beer bottle from behind.   Tom had a What Part of Constitusion Don’t You Understand sign.

I should have known something was up when the women at the front door wouldn’t let us bring our signs inside.   I have met some very charming and attractive honeys at Tea Party events from places like Smart Girl Politlics so American Girl seemed like a natural.  In fact, the women here were younger.  However, none of them seemed to be very passionate about politics.  When we finally got up to the rally, I saw we were the only two guys there.  Ordinarily I would have loved my chances, but most of the women had small children with them and again they didn’t seem very passionate about their politics.

Finally, an author came to speak.   She wanted to talk about some girl named Molly who grew up in World War II.   As she indoctrinated the room full of impressionable young children with stories of the mid-1940s and the glories of the new deal, Tom and I immediately took action.  We began to challenge her supposed facts and remind her that FDR was an avowed socialist who caused the Great Depression with his massive spending.  The American Girl people actually called the police on us.  As we were escorted out, a rather attractive red haired woman with a rather homely daughter reached into her purse.   I thought she was giving me her phone number, but instead she sprayed both Tom and I in the eyes with pepper spray.

I believe that the whole tea party rally was a ruse to indoctrinate us.  This was unlike any tea party I had been at before and I can say that I was duped. I warn any other tea partiers to avoid American Girl.  They are most definitely a liberal front.

I remember when I was a kid, the toys I played with helped me to grow up to be the man I am today.  In addition to trucks, and sporting equipment, and bb guns, I played games like Life where you made choices to assemble the perfect nuclear family or Monopoly where I built many a business empire.  For girls, Barbie taught them the value of shopping and watching their figure.

Unfortunately, toys are now the tools of left wing indoctrination.  The most outrageous example is the newest American Girl doll Gwen.   As the New York Post’s Andrea Peyser explains it, “She is homeless. A homeless doll.  In the history books that come with every American Girl doll — bringing to life these little monsters until impressionable  little ones believe they are actual people — you learn that Gwen’s father walked out on the family.  Her mother lost her job. As the little kiddies learn to read about this doll as if she’s a human being, one learns that, as fall turned into winter, Gwen’s mom lost her grip.  Mother and daughter started bedding down in a car.”

I think the above story not only demonstrates the danger of giving young children these indoctrinating toys, but also of allowing them to read.  Andrea Peyser finds that the doll teaches the following lessons, “For starters, men are bad. Fathers abandon women without cause. She’s also telling me that women are helpless. And that children in this great country, where dolls sell for nearly 100 bucks a pop, are allowed to sleep in motor vehicles. But mothers don’t lose custody over this injustice. Because, you see, they are victims, too.”  These are not the things we want our daughters to learn–not when they could be learning how to coordinate outfits with Barbie.

Several American Girl fans took to the American Girl Website  to debate Ms. Peyser and you could feel the liberal vitriol even at their early age.   “I totaly L-O-V-E Gwen!Her dress is beautyful and the flower print at the top is on her beautyful light pink under!Her sandals are 100% tought to get on.” writes AGGwen1997.

“Bravo American Girl! Your Gwen doll celebrates the diversity of our culture.   My other dolls have been having a Saul Alinsky style work stoppage until health care reform is passed with a public option,” said SecondGradeVegan

I would love to blame the indoctrination of our children solely on American Girl and move on, but sadly I cannot.   The following games and toys are just as guilty:

1. Operation – While there is nothing wrong with surgery, there is no attempt to accurately simulate insurance paper work, which makes it appear the child is operating under a single payer system.
2. Noodleboro Fun Park Sharing Game – This game teaches kids that they win by sharing.   The rules might as well just say, “From each player according to his ability, to each player according to his need.”
3. Toy lawnmowers – Trying to encourage your children to do his own yard work when there are plenty of immigrants who will do it cheaply and quickly is irresponsible
4. Puzzles – Puzzles are fine when done individually, but too often they’re done by a group of children.  This discourages them from learning the value of self-reliance.

We must defend our children from this kind of liberal indoctrination.   After homeless dolls, the next step is gay dolls, and then before you know it we’re living in a socialist society.   Let’s pray that never happens.