That’s Right Nate

I apologize in the dust gathering on this blog.  I hope to be posting a lot more in the weeks ahead.   In the meantime, here’s a Christmas wish I whipped up with the help of Congressman Jack Kimble of California’s 54th District.

Come they told me pa-rum-pum-pum-pum
A new-born king to see pa-rum-pum-pum-pum
Our finest gifts we bring pa-rum-pum-pum-pum
Rum-pum-pum-pum, rum-pum-pum-pum

Come they told me pa-rum-pum-pum-pum
A new-born king to see pa-rum-pum-pum-pum
Our finest gifts we bring pa-rum-pum-pum-pum
to lay before the king pa-rum-pum-pum-pum
Rum-pum-pum-pum, rum-pum-pum-pum
so to honour him pa-rum-pum-pum-pum
when we come

Little baby pa-rum-pum-pum-pum
I stood beside him there pa-rum-pum-pum-pum
I played my drum for him pa-rum-pum-pum-pum
I played my best for him pa-rum-pum-pum-pum
Rum-pum-pum-pum, rum-pum-pum-pum
And he smiled at me pa-rum-pum-pum-pum
me and my drum

Merry Christmas from the GOP
2 Years from now, you know we’ll see
See the election of Sarah Palin
See the day, when men of good means
Pay less tax, pay less tax again

2012, can it be
Everyone must be made aware
That the rich do more than their share
Do so much for their fellow man
Let’s cut all their taxes we can

I pray my wish will come true
For Boehner and McConnell too
We’ll see President Palin
See the day when men of good means
Pay less tax, Pay less tax again

2012, can it be

Please excuse me for the tone of this particular blog entry.   It seems I ran out of egg nog and have been drinking straight rum since 2PM.  Anyway, Christmas Eve is the tradition for me.   I get my daughter Emily for Christmas Eve and it’s beautiful.   This year she got me a talking Ronald Reagan action figure and I got her an elliptical machine.  It can be difficult giving the practical gifts and letting her mom give her the stuff she actually wants, but at only 5’7″ and tipping the scales at 120 pounds, I think she can really use the exercise machine.  I love my Ronald Reagan.

I always spend Christmas Day the same way–watching the movie Taxi Driver.  I’ve seen it 4 times so far today and I think I’ll put it in another  before bed.   I really love the movie and it’s become such a Christmas tradition since my wife left me.   I’m sorry to say that Christmas kind of stinks anymore because it’s become a socialist holiday.   I remember when I was a kid, I didn’t get anything from Santa 4 times before the age of 10.   The reason is, my father didn’t think I was very good those years.  Nowadays kids just expect that they’ll get a toy every year.   This rum is really good.

Christmas (or for my Jewish readers Hanukkah) gives people the feeling of renewal–the belief that mankind can be saved by a small child.   2009 may not have been a great year for many of us, but I hope that 2010 will find things much improved.   Your presence on this blog has been a great gift for me and if you might tell a friend or two about it, it would be even sweeter.  In the next week we’ll find out the nominees for this year’s Natie awards celebrating the best in blogging over the past year.  Remember the story of it’s a Wonderful Life and how much good one man can do if he’s willing to give up on world travel to get into banking and give mortgages to people that other banks believe are too risky.

[Tomorrow I'll interrupt my Taxi Driver marathon to extend my own Christmas wishes, but I thought I'd post this Christmas missive from friend of the blog Congressman Jack Kimble (R-CA)]

To all my constituents in the 54th District and throughout the country, I wish to extend my warmest Christmas wishes to you and yours. While some of you may not be Christians, I feel perfect comfortable wishing you a Merry Christmas because Jesus saved all mankind and not simply Christians.

To Jews who celebrate Hannukah on the 25th, I wish you a blessed day on the most sacred day on the Jewish calendar. I think the fact that both Christianity and Judaism celebrate the exact same day says a lot. It is important we respect all religions as Christianity is not the only path to the light of Jesus Christ.

I know how truly blessed I am to be able to be a congressman for the greatest district in the greatest country in the world. In the year ahead, we must all make an effort to stand up and be counted. It doesn’t matter if you have expensive clothes, or a fancy high school diploma, or even all your teeth. Until the Democrats in Congress and the White House hear from the everyday people in this country, they will continue to try and provide government health care and other services with our hard earned tax dollars. When the government gives it’s people the most basic necessities of life, it can also take them away. This is what socialism is all about.

Have a joyous holiday and a blessed 2010. I will continue to try and fight the good fight in Washington, but we definitely need the help of the people back home if we are to put this country back on the right path it was on under President Bush.

With Christmas nearly approaching, I thought it was time to award some candy canes for those on Nate’s nice list and lumps of coals for those on Nate’s naughty list.

-A candy cane for President Bush for remembering the true meaning of the season by pardoning Isaac Toussie who was guilty of mortgage fraud. Is that even a crime anymore?

-A lump of coal for the UAW who this week added Toyota to the list of victims to their greed and excessive contracts this year.

-A candy cane to KBR for providing our troops with the things they need.

-A lump of coal to The Salvation Army. I still want my gold coins back.

-A candy cane for Saddleback Mountain Church founder Rick Warren for his love of gay people despite not wanting them to get married and for his extensive collection of original Broadway cast recordings.

-A lump of coal to the Global Warming alarmists. I’m freezing my butt off in Chicago and I can only assume its because we’ve cut carbon emissions too much.

-A candy cane for Martin Scorsese whose Taxi Driver is a Christmas tradition at my house.

-A lump of coal to Barrack Obama who announced he was going to use Abraham Lincoln’s Bible for his inauguration. OK, as a secret Muslim I know he doesn’t have his own, but couldn’t he pick a President who didn’t drive us into the only Civil War this country has had…yet?

-A candy cane to our non-terrorist Muslim readers. For those of you who renounce terrorism I wish to extend the olive branch by wishing you a very Merry Christmas.

-A candy cane to the readers of this blog. The boycotts, the political movement, and the return to Conservative values would not be possible without you all.

In all our trips to the ward, we never met Angela Lansbury like these lucky children

I have to admit that as we’re getting closer to Christmas, it is getting harder to find political things to right about and I find my thoughts turning back to the Christmases of my youth. The Christmases of my youth helped me to become the man that I am today and for that we can all be grateful. Many of our Christmas traditions were started by my father. I’ve written about him before, but John Peele was a great great man. You better believe it was “Merry Christmas Sir” with him. If you had wished him “Happy Holidays” he would have punched you in the mouth.

We grew up not far from a hospital with a huge children’s ward. Every Christmas some of these poor children would be stuck in the hospital over Christmas time while everybody else was celebrating the joy of the holiday season. My dad would give both my sister and me $20 each and we would go out to buy just that special Christmas present. Something that we really wanted for ourselves. Then we’d take that present home and we’d wrap it. Actually, to say we wrapped it is an understatement. We’d really go all out on the gift wrap and make these presents into works of art with ribbons, bows, and brightly colored paper.

My mom would bake a fresh batch of her famous Christmas cookies for the big day and my sister and I would head over Christmas Eve afternoon to the Children’s Ward. Sometimes we’d bring a friend with, but usually it was just us. We’d greet the children in the ward and we’d eat the cookies while the sick patients did tricks for us. If a trick was really good we’d give them a cookie too. If a kid couldn’t do a trick and they begged us hard enough we’d give them a nutball–I never cared for those much. Then we’d sit down with all the kids around us and we’d open our gifts. Even though we knew what we were getting ahead of time just seeing all those sick kids who were all jealous made it that much better. We’d play with our toys for awhile until my dad came back from the local tavern to pick us up.

Sometimes the kids would complain and the nurses would kick us out. My dad would come in and a lot of times he’d pretend to take another kid home by mistake as my sister and I would scream after him and one of the patients would be terrified wondering who this strange man was walking off with him. Those were simpler times then, but I’m glad that I got to spend my Christmases with those less fortunate than myself. Emily never wanted to do this and her mother absolutely forbid it. I also don’t know that a children’s hospital would put up with the stuff we pulled in today’s more cautious age.

This week Australian astronomers claimed that the Christmas star appeared on June 17th not on December 25th.  I find this really convenient since in Australia June is in winter and December is in summer.  Now,  I suppose to some people the fact that Jesus was the son of God who died for all our sins is the important thing, but what makes Christmas holy for me are the many things about the holiday I take on faith about the holiday.

1. Christmas was on December 25th.

2. Even though it was winter time, shephards still were out in the fields with their sheep.

3. 2 out of the three wise men from the East were white.

4. Christmas trees are a Chrisitan symbol in no way related to paganism.

5. Like my own, Jesus’s mother was a virgin.

I take all of these issues on faith and that’s the way it should be.  I don’t want to see scientists trying to tear this stuff down because I know what’s true in my heart and that’s what really matters.  Science changes, but faith remains.  When science begins to go to war with my faith, I will always take my faith’s side.

This Christmas, Senate Majority leader Harry Reid is Scrooge.  Actually, that’s not fair.  Scrooge at least gave Bob Cratchett Christmas off.  Harry Reid is so distrustful of President Bush that he will be having a Senator stay behind to gavel the empty chamber to order and prevent The President from passing any recess appointments before he leaves office in January.  For shame Mister Reid.  The government must continue to run even while Barrack Obama sits around doing nothing productive.

In fact, George Bush has appointed over 30 people to positions since the election in November and these people will help to lead the Obama administration with their experience in Washington.  “Given the fact that the Senate was so intransigent on so many nominations, we certainly would have liked to have used the option of recess appointments,” Said Bush spokesperson Tony Fratto. “This process is broken, absolutely broken. The majority leader has taken it to the point of abuse.”

One move Bush is making that I’m particularly excited about is his appointment of many non-scientists to permanent federal jobs with responsibility for making or administering scientific policies.  I like that Bush isn’t afraid to shake up the liberal atheistic scientific community with people who haven’t been indoctrinated with scientific propaganda against a Christian belief system.  As Sarah Palin said on the campaign trail, “How do we know its global warming and not God just hugging us closer.”

Bush has also been working tirelessly behind the  scenes to ease up ridiculous safeguards on industry limiting the amount of pollution that’s acceptable in our drinking water and redefining pollution in general.  Bush has also appointed several industry lobbyists to watchdog positions knowing that the government will only benefit from the other point of view.

Mr. Fratto pointed out that Mr. Bush’s term is a full four years — not 3 years, 10 months and 4 days — and the president will not pull punches as he makes potentially still more appointments. “We actually do have not just the authority,” he said, “we have an obligation to do what we think is best for the country up until 11:59 a.m. on January 20.”  Perhaps, he can do something about some of those silly air quality safeguards as well in the next month and a half.

Many of you have told me how much you appreciated my Amazing Christmas Gifts post awhile back.  Well since that I posted that I found some new gifts and thought a few things I forgot about so allow me to present 5 more amazing gifts for the holiday season.

5. Jesus Inspirational Sports Figures — For your Christian sports fan what could be better than Jesus Christ himself playing your favorite sport.  I admit as a hockey fan I was a little disappointed to see soccer in there and hockey omitted, but these amazing statues from www.catholicshopper.com are truely divine.  Best of all, Jesus is dressed in white so he can be repainted in your favorite team colors. ($21.95)

4. Santa Door Greeter — Is there a better way to keep yourself in the mood for Christmas than with a large motion sensing door greeter Santa Claus that screams out “Ho Ho Ho Merry Christmas” and plays an electronic Christmas carol every single time somebody opens the door over and over and over again.  Just think how your family will light up on Christmas Eve when the Santa goes off 10 or 20 or 30 times.  I found this one on EBay for less than $10  ($9.99). [Thanks to Scootmandubious for finding this one.]

3. Lockdown: The Liberal Agenda to Bankrupt the Self-Storage Industry and Turn America into a Third-World Country by Nate Peele — This Dusk Jacket will fit over any hardcover book between 350-400 pages and at $7.99 is considerably cheaper than most new books.  You can read more about my exciting new Dusk Jacket deal in the archive ($7.99)

2. Pretty in Mink Calendar – The sexiest women of the conservative movement together in a calendar that shows their outer as well as inner beauty.  This calendar which is great to rub in the face of any PETA activist is to show them the lovely Ann Coulter or Michelle Malkin wrapped in mink on your wall.  The calendar advertisement doesn’t really show pictures, but it claims to turn back time for the conservative women  and ” made them up into glamorous movie stars of classic Hollywood.”  I’m looking forward to seeing the lovely Ms. Coulter as Clark Gable in Gone with the Wind. ($25)

1. Self Storage Gift Certificates – For $100 you can pay for a 5×10 storage space for a month.  This is an ideal gift for a child moving back home with you after losing his job or a friend who got foreclosed on.  Individual storage prices vary from location to location, but please remember storage units are not proper housing and should not be used as such. (Varies)

The White House staff is gearing up for the last Christmas season with the Bushes.  I’m pretty sure the Obamas don’t even celebrate Christmas.  However, the staff like the Bush administration itself is constantly in motion.

It isn’t just Christmas that is celebrated at this time either.  Jewish peoples are getting ready to celebrate Hanukkah which celebrates Moses or something. The White House staff is responsible for schedule all sorts of receptions for Jews and Christians alike.

The lovely card pictured is the card the White House sent out to Jewish leaders welcoming them to a White House Hanukkah reception.    I for one will miss the class and attention to detail that the Bush’s brought with them to the White House.

Let’s face it–gift giving is hard work. This year I’d really suggest cash as a gift, but that’s just not sentimental enough for some people. I was going to make a list of 10 great gifts, but I decided in honor of the song 12 Days of Christmas to go with a list of 12 well-received Christmas gifts for conservatives.

12. The Free Live Nativity at the Creation Museum ($21.95 adult admission) – Christmas is a great time to celebrate that the Earth is only 6,000 years old and no place does it better than the Creation Museum located just 7 miles from the Cincinnati Airport.

11. Toby Keith – 35 Biggest Hits ($9.99 on Amazon) – This great double cd set was $19 back in May, but now you can pick up two and a half hours of Toby Keith for less than $10.  What real American won’t enjoy listening to songs like Courtesy of the Red White and Blue and Big Ol’ Truck.  You just want to make sure you keep it away from any Dixie Chicks CDs you haven’t burnt yet.

10. Dunkin’ Doughnuts Gift Cards ($10 Denominations up to $200) – If the person you’re gifting drinks a lot of coffee or sits around all day in a mind-numbingly dull office managing the family business as he deals with employees that barely speak English they’ll love this rechargeable gift card from Dunkin’ Doughnuts.  Coffee or Cream Filled–it covers them both.

9. Sarah Palin and  Joe the Plumber Action Figure (32.95 for Joe, 29.95 for Sarah)  – Herobuilders.com has a great line of Joe the Plumber and Sarah Palin action figures that’ll help fill your children with conservative economic principles and a love of hunting.  Imagine the fun your children will have conducting interviews with their Sarah Palin figure or trying to get a country music contract as Joe the Plumber.  Celebrate the potential Republican ticket of 2012.

8. The American Family Association Burning Cross – I mentioned this one a few days back, but you can’t beat the message of God’s love for all as captured by the timeless symbol of a burning cross on your lawn or porch.  You also know you’re supporting an organization that is out to stop the liberal agenda so it really becomes a great lift on a couple of different levels.

7. Hobo Bubblegum Cigarettes ($8.95 for 6 packs from Archie McPhee) – This item combines two things that kids really love–hobos and pretending to smoke. Anybody my age remembers the plethora of toy cigarettes and cigars we used to see growing up in the 70s, but they’ve sadly disappeared along with Hobo stuff. Fortunately, there’s Archie Mcphee.

6. Fred Thompson 2012 T-Shirt ($14.95 for Coulter Sized, $16.95 for Limbaugh Sized) – What better way to remember the excitement of Fred’s 2008 run for the White House than by starting your support for his 2012 run early.  He’s the most dynamic man in politics today and these shirts help keep that excitement going for the next 4 years.

5. The Beer Belly – If you want to sneak beer into a sporting event, concert, or movie you’re limited. I like my Miller Lite and I like it for less than $8 a can. This ingenious device allows you to sneak your beer with you wherever you’re going and you simply look like you’ve got a gut. If you’re a woman you look pregnant. Believe me no security guard gets paid enough to search pregnant women.

4. Claxton Fruit Cake (2 lbs. for $17.95) – Nothing says you thought about somebody’s Christmas gift like the gift of fruit cake does. And Claxton’s has been selling the same batch of fruitcake since 1910 so you know its good.

3. Alan Keyes ($10,000) – You can book former Presidential Candidate Alan Keyes for $10,000 to speak to your group or organization.  Think what a hit he’d be at any dinner party you invited him to.  While people will usually book speakers for a large group, small groups are so much more intimate.  Mr. Keyes can be booked at the All-American Talent & Celebrity Network.

2. Superstars of the Conservative Movement Poster (Free) – OK don’t tell anybody how much you spent, but what Republican doesn’t like giving gifts without spending a dime.  This poster would look great framed in anybody’s office or living room and features such celebrated conservatives as Michelle Malkin, Ann Coulter, Robert Novack, and many others.  The poster is available from the Young America’s Foundation website, and with such forceful conservative voices it’d be a value at twice the price.

1. Canned Goods (Price Varies) – With the economy in its current state, I think the inn gift this year will be canned goods.  Make sure they are non-perishable and try and select a variety.  5 pounds of peaches in light syrup probably won’t be as appreciated as several different cans of a variety of food.  When the food is gone, the can’s work great for putting under a leaky roof or using as a dinner glass. I haven’t included a web link here because a lot of times, you can find better deals at individual grocery stores.