That’s Right Nate

Emily's shirt can't conceal her weight problem as she celebrates her birthday by devouring a chocolate cake.

This post is going out to Megan McCain or I guess maybe John McCain too.  Megan has been in the news lately because, to put it bluntly, she’s fat.  Recently, in a show of tough love Laura Ingram called her on it teasing “Ok, I was really hoping that I was going to get that role in the Real World, but then I realized that, well, they don’t like plus-sized models. They only like the women who look a certain way. And on this 50th anniversary of Barbie, I really have something to say.”

Megan immediately got defensive, ““It infuriates me,” she said. “I’m a political writer on a blog, and all of a sudden I’m too fat to write?”  She further went on to tell Laura Ingram, “Kiss my fat ass.”  Like Megan, I too am a political writer on a blog and like her father John I too have a fat daughter.  I know how defensive they can get when you suggest that they might want to order something a little less fattening at a restaurant.  Poor Laura Ingram seems to have been caught in the crossfire.  It is just a simple fact that fatties get defensive.

For John McCain it must be very tempting to love Megan like any other child in spite of her overwhelming girth.  The question though is at this time of her life is unconditional love really what Megan needs?   I tried that with my daughter Emily and what I got was a daughter weighing in at 125 pounds at the age of 12 and unlike Megan, Emily has no aspirations of a Hollywood career.  As Megan herself told The View, she has a younger sister.  Is she really setting a good example for her sister?

I especially feel sorry for John McCain who like me has always enjoyed a good fat joke or a political daughter joke.   Who can forget his zinger from the late 90s?  “Why is Chelsea Clinton so ugly? Because her father is Janet Reno.”  I hope that he’ll have some equally cutting material about the Obama daughters in the years to come.

The real tragedy here though is Megan McCain who by all accounts has a great personality and she does have a very pretty face if only she’d take off some pounds.  She could be that young Republican sex symbol for the 2o somethings the way that Sarah Palin is for the older generation.  Let’s hope she gets her act together.  As it is now who can take a woman seriously when she obviously needs to lose weight.  If she has any hopes of being the next Rush Limbaugh she’s going to have to look more like the women on Fox.   Why do they have credibility?  Because they’re hot.  Meow!

UPDATE – One tradition at the Peele house was always hiding Easter candy so that Emily wouldn’t eat it all.  I’ll have to be really careful if I win the See’s candy contest over at Soup is not Finger Food.

Hi God,

It’s me Nate.  It’s been a couple of months since we talked.  First, I wanted to let you know I love what you did with the Cubs this year.  I mean, the whole cellar dweller thing had been done.  Letting them think that they may win it this year was a nice twist.  I’ve been a little concerned about you lately.

Back in the election, when McCain supporter Rev. Arnold Conrad warned you “here are millions of people around this world praying to their God — whether it’s Hindu, Buddha, Allah — that his [McCain’s] opponent wins for a variety of reasons. And Lord I pray that you would guard your own reputation, because they’re going to think that their god is bigger than you, if that happens. So I pray that you would step forward and honor your own name in all that happens between now and Election Day.” Well, I just want you to know that even if Obama won you’re still tops with me.  I hope you reallize that.  Don’t let what other people say get you down and stand up for yourself as the deity you are.  Keep an eye on Sarah Palin and convince her to stay in this country.  I think she’s got a real future.

Like a lot of other Christians I was praying against Obama.   I wish you still did some of that Old Testament stuff.  Boy, would a plague of locusts have shut down an Obama fundraiser.  On the other hand, if you were thinking of doing another Katrina on us or something please remember we voted against gay marriage in 3 states.  We know that there is no greater affront to your will than when people have sex outside of a commited monogomus marriage except for when homosexuals have sex inside a commited monogomus marriage.

In closing, you’ve got a bunch of us down here worried that the end times are coming.  If you don’t mind, just keep us posted.  If we have elected the Antichrist please let us know so that we can make sure that he doesn’t get 60 senators on his side.  I can’t wait to see what you do to the Cubs next year.

Nate

Unmarried women fell prey to the pure animal magnetism of California Representative Henry Waxman.

I noticed this little shocker at Worldnetdaily where you can find a lot just by reading the headlines about what is going on in the world–”Obama’s Chief a Closet Hawk”, “Palin Aide Offers Strong Rebuke to Crititcism”, “An Easy 6 Figure Income for Life”.

It seems that Obama seduced unmarried women into supporting him in this election.  Obama won the unmarried women’s vote 70% to 29% while married women only supported Obama 50% to 47%.  “If not for the overwhelming support of unmarried women, John McCain would have won the women’s vote and with it, the White House,” said the international research firm Greenberg Quinlan Rosner.  I’m not exactly sure how McCain would have won the women’s vote losing both the single and married women’s vote, but I’m not about to argue with a prestigious international firm.

Of course anybody who watched the three Presidential debates noticed Obama’s not so subtle body language designed to lure in unsuspecting females.  However, it wasn’t just Obama.  Unmarried women also supported Democratic House Candidates 64% to 29% meaning they weren’t just vulnerable to Obama’s charms, but also members of the US House of Representatives.  Until these women can keep their emotions in check, perhaps its time we start limiting the vote to only married women.

He’s just picked up 8 electoral votes in Kentucky!! He’s up by 5!!

I just wanted to remind you that I will be here all night as we count down to McCain’s 270.  Please join me.

6:45 – McCain’s got South Carolina now too.  Its 16-3 now.  With Kentucky and South Carolina in the bag so much for Obama’s invincibility.

7:09 – NOOOO!  Not Pennsylvania.  Your state is dead to me.  Dead to me.  McCain needs to win California now.

7:15 – Obama got Illinois.  So much for your big pickle jar strategy guys!!  Yeah people will vote based on who give them pickles.

7:57 – Thank God for Oklahoma

8:00 – Dammit Guiliani! You lost us New York!

8:01 – Woo! We got Kansas! That’s practically Obama’s home state.  We have a chance.

8:03 – Louisiana and Texas are out there and McCain just won Georgia!

8:07 – Liby Dole lost to that godless woman too.

8:07 -  Now that I’m seeing how bad we’re doing I really should have registered to vote.

8:18 – Ohio!!  They must have liked the flag he made them.

8:27 – Is it just me or does the massive crowd of Chicago remind me of Nazi Germany except that they’re well behaved and diverse?

8:29 – Dukakis got 111 electoral votes.  We’ve almost doubled Carter from 1980.

8:33 – Joe the Plumber couldn’t even carry Ohio?  Great job Joe.

8:37 – We’re doing much better with the popular vote.

8:40 – Texas!!  Finally some good news

8:44 – Dole got 159.   I think that’s got to be our next goal.

8:47 – Well win or lose, Tim Pawlenty is still dynamic

8:50 – Comeback - McCain has narrowed the gap.  If we take California we can win it.

9:25 –OBAMA VOTE FRAUD!!  There’s a supposed voter glitch in Cook County and Obama is being projected as wining Illinois–Coincidence?  I think not.

9:43 – McCain is coming back he won if you read the electoral map like a bingo board.

9:54 – The ammount of geographic territory you won should really be part of this.  The map is so much more red than blue.

10:00 –  NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Bill Bradley dribbles around another white guy.

One of McCain’s greatest hopes is the Double Reverse Bradley Effect.  The Bradley Effect was named after former Senator Bill Bradley.  He had a huge lead in the polls, but when people found out he was in the NBA, they decided he must be black and he did much worse at the election than the polls and lost.

The Reverse Bradley Effect is a phenomenon where people tell pollsters that they aren’t voting for a black candidate and then show up at an election and do just that.  This term was coined by Douglas Wilder and he has copyrighted it and will receive all money from Reverse Bradley Effect t-shirts.

The Double Reverse Bradley Effect is where people tell pollsters that they will vote for a black candidate even though they have no intention of doing so.  They tell all their friends that they’re going to vote for the white guy.  Then they vote for the black candidate anyway, but they do so loudly proclaiming at the voting booth for anybody standing around, “No way I’m going to vote for a blackguy!!   No sireee Bob.  No black guy should be President.”  They will then walk out to their car literally whistling Dixie or tell the poll worker a racist joke to throw them off the trail.  If there is an exit poll, they will immediately declare that they voted for the white guy.

The Double Reverse Bradley Effect could be very pivotal in tomorrow’s election.  However, the McCain campaign has a chance if they can create a Triple Reverse Bradley.

I’m locked out of editing Cougars for Clinton and there’s a new and ridiculous post urging people to vote for Obama.  What kind of daughter pulls this kind of garbage?   Her cow of a mom won’t put me on the phone, but tomorrow she is so dead.  I raised her so much better than this!!  I have no daughter.  This thing has been up for a few days.  I am going to make her do a book report on every single Bill O’Reilly book and if I’m not satisfied I’m moving onto Hannity and I don’t even approve of reading books.

Ed and Larry engage in a fierce game of checkers

Wow!  I spent today with Larry, Paul, Ed and the good folks at McCain Headquarters in the Chicago suburb of Hometown.  You have to love that name.  The community is in the Southwest suburbs and about a half hour from downtown Chicago.  There was a definite excitement in the air with the election coming tomorrow.  And the 3 volunteers were a well oiled machine.  I really would not be surprised to see a McCain upset tomorrow.

“We get them to come in for the pickles,” said Ed pointing to the enormous plastic jar holding 2 dozen large dill pickles, “that’s when we ask them if they know about Obama’s middle name.  If they’re still willing to vote for a guy named Hussein we’ll start talking to them about coal.  Usually you can get them to take a yard sign.  Larry is really good at speaking to them as a working man.”

Larry Spychalski is in his late 40s, but the tattoos on his arm on the fishing cap on his head show he’s a hard worker.  Larry has been a television repairman, a short order cook, and a rough carpenter during his working life.  “You know,” he tells me, “those polls don’t mean a lot.  A lot of our supporters are a little…well a little loopy.  They won’t answer the phone because that’s how the government can implant the nanites into your ear canal to track you.  Phone polls are always going to show less voters.”

“Yeah”, said Paul, “A lot of McCain’s supporters just can’t get to the phone in time.  You’ve got to give them a couple of extra rings.  They never do that when they call.  You get to the phone and you’re like hello, hello, but they’ve already hung up.”  Paul is a former teacher and driver’s ed instructor who loves to go door to door for McCain.

“Vote for McCain not for Hussein,” chimes in Ed, “Hussein, Hussein, Hussein”.  Ed is so vocal in his support for McCain that the others have to calm him down sometimes.  “Have you seen that Sarah Palin?” says Ed, “She’s like a young Betty Grable.”

“We’re going to win this tomorrow.  I don’t know anybody who is voting for Obama,” said Larry, “I’ve even been into some of the colored areas and nobody will say they’re voting for him.  Everybody I talked to is either undecided or definitely McCain.”

“McCain, not Hussein,” chimes in Ed.

With Larry, Ed, and Paul on the job I feel a lot more confident.  They may well be right about McCain supporters either being too paranoid to answer the phone or too immobile to get to the phone on time.  If this is the case, there may well be a surprise tomorrow.

There are two great heroes in this election and no matter how the election goes tomorrow, I wanted to do a tribute to the honesty of those two great men–John McCain and George W. Bush.  When leadership has been hard to come by they have been there to lead America.

This just cracks me up.  There is no limit to the arrogance of this guy.  It seems that Barack Obama has already made arrangements for a large celebration on Tuesday night at Grant Park in Chicago.  Excuse me Senator, but shouldn’t you actually win the election before you plan your big party?  Supposedly, this is going to be a major extravaganza including police and Secret Service protection.  You don’t think maybe they police have something better to do on election night?  What is especially disturbing is that the media, which we all know is in the bag for Obama, is planning to cover the event–not just one network, but all of them.

Only Obama is capable of such huberus.  How dare he hold an event election night like this before the final vote totals are calculated?  The media can go out and cover this charade, but I hope my friends that we can all go out there and make it a large pity party in Chicago on Tuesday night.

The McCain campaign garnered the coveted Cheney endorsement.

With the election coming up on Tuesday, the McCain campaign has gotten into high gear.  This has been an excellent day for team McCain.  Not only did Sarah Palin show her ability to cooly and calmly show her ability to handle a foreign leader when a couple of Canadian disk jockeys tricked her into thinking she was talking to the French Prime Minister, but John McCain also wrapped up the key endorsement of Vice-President Dick Cheney.  No wonder the race is tightening.

Cheney was effusive in his praise saying “the right leader for this moment in history is Senator John McCain”.  The amazing thing is with an already huge 24% lead in Wyoming, McCain may beat Obama by 30% in the “Equality State”.   Cheney’s support also helps to butress McCain against any fallout from Colin Powell’s endorsement of Obama.

Palin may have shown a little inexperience in taking the prank phone call, but I really don’t think she had any way to know that French Prime Minister Sarkozy is not fluent in English or that Stephen Harper was the Prime Minister of Canada.  In the end what matters is she was calm and gracious when she thought she was on the phone with a foreign leader.

Also of note is the Zogby poll which showed a  48% to 47% lead by McCain in polling on Friday.  Things have gotten so bad for the Obama campaign that according to McCain adviser Rick Davis, “Obama is campaigning in red states because he’s doing so poorly in the battlegrounds”.