That’s Right Nate

Hello and welcome to the future.   I am making my annual set of predictions for the new year.   It is really easy for people to scoff at things to come, but remember people ignored my prediction last year that Tiger Woods would get caught cheating on his wife with 11 different women.  Now without further adieu, here are the predictions:

• Tim Tebow’s NFL draft stock will take a huge hit at the scouting combine when he is inexplicably raptured up to Heaven.
• While politicians and world leaders are worried about a variety of crises, it will be a celebrity scandal that has the country strangely glued to their television sets.
• An entrepreneur will come along with a great idea to save public education while simultaneously making himself a great deal of money.
• A major scandal will befall Chicago’s Daley administration, but the mayor will be exonerated when it turns out that it was a rogue underling who was responsible as in previous Chicago political scandals.
• Tensions will escalate in the Middle East
• A new hip hop hit will reach number one on the charts because of an attractive singer and a good beat, despite unintelligible lyrics.
• Tea party activists will make up with enthusiasm for what they lack in spelling.
• Despite the republic already being destroyed by the Senate vote on health care, it will be destroyed another two dozen times this year.
• Charter Schools will demonstrate that you get better teachers when you lower their pay, worsen their working conditions, and increase their hours.  Meanwhile, the same people funding these charters will be aghast at efforts to curb their bonuses at $500 million per year.
• A Hollywood actress will generate a lot of buzz when she makes herself appear uglier for a part.
• The recession will finally end when the American public discovers they can make a large amount of money in their free time by raising chinchillas.
• Dick Cheney will have a major disagreement with something the Obama administration does this year.
• New technology will make it easier for us to stay connected with the people in our lives despite having less and less to tell these people creating a new market for people who are able to text interesting things.
• Impressed with the financial success of giving Jay Leno the 10:00 hour weekdays, NBC experiments will putting infomercials from 9:00 to 10:00 and reruns of the Andy Griffith Show from 8:00 – 9:00.   Their ratings continue to drop from the 9PM to 10PM hours.
• Two words – Monkey Butlers.

You can be sure if any of these predictions come true, I’ll be back at the beginning of 2011 to rub it in.