That’s Right Nate

Being recognized as one of the more important voices of the GOP has its advantages.  One of them is that they include me whenever they want to do a survey of the party’s movers and shakers.  Yesterday, I got this survey and I not only filled it out immediately, I sent in $100 so I can see the results in real time.   I found myself disagreeing with Obama’s position a lot which let’s me know I’m in the right party for me.   See how you do:

[One of the great things about my blog is that it has enabled me to meet some of the real movers and shakers in the world of politics.   One of these men is occasional guest on this blog Congressman Jack Kimble.  He's here today, to tell you about one of the greatest threats to our nation today - liberal bias.]

My friends, I am writing today to warn you of the growing danger of left wing bias in the media. The Republican Party has been under siege for most of the past 100 years and liberal bias is nothing knew.   Even in the 1930s, the media tried to blame the FDR created Great Depression on Herbert Hoover and not on FDR’s massive social programs.   Today, the media seems all too willing to give Barrack Obama a free pass despite the two wars he has mismanaged in the Middle East, a terrible economy, too much reliance on foreign oil, and corruption in the Justice Department.

In an effort to combat this rampant corruption, Representative Lamar Smith (R-TX), myself, and a dozen other GOP congressman have formed the Media Fairness Caucus.  Our mission is to point out left leaning news reports and strike a blow for the kind of fair and balanced news reporting that is currently only found on Fox Television and The National Review.  Sure the further eroding of the economy and the possibility of a terrorist attack or all out nuclear war in the Middle East is troubling, but not nearly so much as our nation’s media favoring the liberals.

I have devised a handy plan to help in the event that you encounter reporting that you believe has a liberal bias:

1. If you spot liberal bias in print or on the air do not attempt to argue with the media yourself.   This will be completely ineffective and will increase your exposure to the biased reporting.  Instead immediately leave the room.   Do not waste time closing the newspaper or changing the channel.   Simply get up and leave the room.

2. Immediately dial the congressional office of the Media Fairness Caucus representative closest to your present location.   Remain calm and answer any questions that the staffer needs to ascertain the nature of the bias.

3. If it is determined that you are in fact exposed to biased media, we will dispatch a trained staffer to go over approved talking points with you and to remove the offending media from your home or business.

4. A Media Fairness Caucus member will write an op-ed piece in an appropriate newspaper.

5. Rehears these steps with your family.   Through repeating this drill, it will soon become second nature to you.

Thank you for your time and support as we fight to keep the country free of this despicable media bias.   If you contact my office, I can get you a list of approved broadcasters who are 100% liberal bias free.

I have posted before that if we’re serious about turning the Republican Party around we need to get more elite. Our brand has to be like the Navy Seals or limited edition Precious Moments figurines. By cutting the number of Republicans way down, we can create a demand for us that will only serve us well in future elections. Obviously, Republicans in name only (RINOs) like Colin Powell, Olympia Snow, and the McCains need to hit the road, but who are the other threats to our party from within.

7. Rick Perry – When he ran for governor, he promised to secure the Texas / mexico border. As soon as he was elected, he totally reneged on the promise.
He also got a new business tax approved that was supposed to relieve residential property tax payers of their crushing taxes. Not only are business paying taxes they didn’t have to pay prior to 2008, homeowners are paying more property tax.

6. Pete Sessions – As head of the RNCC was complicit in allowingrampant RINOism to spread.

5. Lindsay Graham – His last opponent in the South Carolina Republican primary had a campaign slogan that “Lindsay Graham is too liberal for South Carolina.” I think he went even further over the top when he had a disgustingly kiss kis press conference showing his support for Obama.

4. Mitch McConnell – Was in favor of a stimulus package and big government spending

3. Nancy Reagan – She’s pro-stem cell research, she was a big McCain supporter in the primary over legitimate conservatives, and she has become an embarrassment to her husband’s legacy.

2. Newt Gingrich – He’s been making the round on liberal networks to attack Rush and Dick Cheney for their strident defense of America.

1. Dick Cheney - Though it pains me to admit it, Cheney is a big government liberal at heart. That can’t be changed by simply waterboarding a few terrorists.

Simply, by getting rid of these 7 pseudo Republicans, our party will become stronger. Let’s not waste time showing them them the door.

As a loyal member of the GOP, I feel extremely embarrassed to have been hoodwinked by Michael Steele and the other members of the RNC.  I was watching The Producers tonight and it suddenly occurred to me how we lost the one party dream or Karl Rove.  When you look at the math, nobody really cares how much the losing candidate raises.  Think about it, we heard about how much was raised for Obama’s campaign, but did we ever hear how much John McCain raised?

With creative accounting, the RNC has been able to raise vast sums of money for its crooked leadership by taking donations from people like myself and then running campaigns deliberately designed to lose.  Think about what we’ve done since January—Hip Hop Republicans, Advocating Torture, Trying to rename our opponents?   These are strategies designed to lose support not garner it.  I feel very foolish not to have seen through this before.  My fellow conservatives, we’re being hoodwinked.

As regular readers of my blog know, I am a huge collector of Precious Moments figurines.  The ones that I truly appreciate are the rare limited edition ones.  This week, I immediately bought 6 copies of Our Love is the Bridge to Happiness.  Normally, I would only buy one for the empty spot on top of my mantle, but this particular figurine is a limited edition.  Because it is rare it is seen as a status symbol.   That’s why whenever I am flirting with a woman I never fail to mention to her about all the rare precious moment figurines I have.   Hopefully, this will one day lead to an opportunity to show that woman the figurines for herself.

Just like Precious Moments, The Republican Party has made a move in the right direction by becoming rarer itself.  We have now become an elite party.  When there were all sorts of moderates running around like Arlen Specter or Gerald Ford anybody could be a Republican.   Now, it takes strict adherence to very rigid principles that most people in public office could never do–either their empathy or their intellect would get in the way.  That is why even though we are leaner, we are now more powerful than ever.  Everybody now knows, if you’re a Republican you are elite.

Soon, people will reallize what an elite brand we are and when that happens we will be in great demand like any limited supply.  This will help us in elections because while not everybody can own a Ferrari, that won’t stop ordinary people from wanting to.   Voting Republican will be a new status symbol.  As an added bonus, we have a very unified message.   When we were larger, nearly half the party thought Bush was taking the country in the wrong direction.  Now that that half of the party is gone, I’d wager that all the remaining Republicans approve of the job Bush did or see him as too liberal.  It is much easier to stay unified and on message with a smaller group.   The moderate purge must continue until we become even more elite.  Only then can we really lead.

Today, Pennsylvania Senator Arlen Specter became a Democrat.   Actually, that’s not quite right.   In my mind he always was a Democrat.  Specter, who voted for Obama’s bloated stimulus package, has time and again failed to live up to the values that make our party great—discipline and the ability to vote no to stuff that Obama proposes.  He had no right to leave the party just because we were trying to get a more conservative politician to run against him in the Republican primary.  The people of Pennsylvania voted for a Republican Senator and that’s what they deserve.   The good news is we have managed to purge our party of all but two disenting voices—The Laverne and Shirley of the Capitol Olympia Snowe and Susan Collins of Maine.

Now personally this may be good for Specter.   He probably gains a chance to return to Washington for another term, but what does he lose?   To answer that, I composed a list of those things that any good Republican would miss about the GOP:

10. Rush Limbaugh’s producer’s voice mail number

9. Michael Steele’s Def Conservative Poetry on C-Span 8

8. David Vitter’s porn collection

7. Immunity from Michelle Bachman’s “He’s probably a Muslim” list

6. Senate Tea Bagging Parties (Wow that never gets old)

5. Weekly Shirts vs. Skins basketball games

4. Being on the same side as Joe Lieberman I think.  Wait, no actually hmm yeah.   I think that they’re on opposite sides. I can’t keep track.

3. Making up fake notes from John McCain to pass to Lindsey Graham

2. Hiding Jim Bunning’s briefcase and pretending to help him look for it.

1. Invitations to Rupert Murdoch’s September 19th Talk Like a Pirate Day Party

The Republicans will survive.  We will remain a big tent party because of all the people who are economic policies now have living with their families in big tents.  Mister Specter on the other hand, let’s just say its his loss.

I recently saw a poll that showed that the Republican Party was trailing Venezuela in popularity and barely ahead of Cuba.  While 42% of the American public looks at Venezuela favorably and Cuba is at 38%, our own Republican party is only at 39%.  This is apalling to me.  How can anybody favor people who commit human rights abuses on a routine basis over democratically elected leaders is beyond me.  I’ve come to reallize that if the Republicans are going to rebound we have to toot are own horn.   You’ll never find leftist mainstream media like CNN and Fox News doing it for us.

We accept that we are the minority party right now.  There was nothing we could do to stop Obama’s massive stimulus from going through, but when we saw wasteful spending we zeroed in on it and pointed it out to the American people.   Do you remember when the Dumbocrats (Pet name) wanted to waste money on Governor Bobby Jindahl of Lousiana correctly pointed out, “Instead of monitoring volcanoes, what Congress should be monitoring is the eruption of spending in Washington.”

Did the Democrats gratefully acquiesce?  No, of course not.   They rammed the bloated stimulus through and then had the nerve to do an I told you so when a volcano just happened to flare up in Alaska.   I don’t see how anybody could possibly have seen that coming.  How were we supposed to know?

The Democrats porkulus bill also contained a huge expenditure for something called pandemic preparedness.   When I don’t know what something is, I know its waste.   It sounds like an epidemic of pandas.  I for one would love to see more pandas.  Senator Susan Collins (R-ME) managed to cut $780,000,000 in pandemic preparedness from the stimulus bill.  I couldn’t find out what it was, but I can see in a Wall Street Journal opinion piece, Karl Rove called $2 billion for the National Institutes of Health, $462 million for the Centers for Disease Control, and $900 million for pandemic flu preparations wasteful spending.   Maybe it has to do with pandas getting the flu.

The point is only one part is standing up for the little guy when the Democrats want volano research or flu preparedness or renwable sources of income and that’s us.  Remember this in 2010, we’re your best hope at financial sanity.

I remember when my daughter was in first grade.  She ran out of school crying.  I asked her why and she told me that Poopy Head had called her a name.  Now, I knew some of the people in her class, but I had no idea who Poopy Head was.   It turns out it was a boy named Brett who had made fun of her.  She was so upset that she couldn’t call him by his name anymore so she started calling him Poopy Head.

I totally can relate.   Today, as a party we are stepping forward to do exactly the same thing.  In an email sent out to 168 RNC members on Wednesday, RNC committeeman James Bopp stated, “The proposed resolution acknowledges that and calls upon the Democrats to be truthful and honest with the American people by renaming themselves the Democrat Socialist Party.  Just as President Reagan’s identification of the Soviet Union as the ‘evil empire’ galvanized opposition to communism, we hope that the accurate depiction of the Democrats as a Socialist Party will galvanize opposition to their march to socialism.”

I think this idea has a lot of merit to it.   Don’t forget the Bush’s huge foreign policy success achieved by using the moniker Axis of Evil.  As any Captain and Tennille fan will tell you  a catchy name goes a very long way.   Look how well we did calling torture harsh interrogation.   The only problem is I wonder how many people even know what a socialist is anymore.   I think we may be better off calling them the Stinky Party or the Stupid Party.  Maybe the Stinky Stupids.  I definitely think that we should stop calling ourselves the Republicans.  Like Blackwater, when your reputation gets tarnished enough it may be time to change your name.  I really like the sound of the Guns and God Party.

Well gee, you get a small link in Crooks and Liars and you get about 2000 hits.   That was a great little surprise .  There is actually snow on the ground in Chicago.  That’s really depressing right now.  I don’t have a lot to write about today.  Catholics vs Obama?  Can they both lose.  I am still on cloud nine after my first interview with a politician in several months.  Representative Kimble is the voice of the new Republican party and, if we want to regain the congress in 2010, we’ll listen to him.

Like me, most of you probably got that RNC Membership Survey this week and have been a bit slow filling it out.  I mean, when things are going well for your party (Thanks Obama Recession), it is hard to take the time to communicate your enthusiasm sometimes.  I decided to fill out my Republican survey online as motivation to get my butt in gear.

1. Why did Republicans lose the White House and Congressional seats in the 2008 elections? Check all that apply.

Iraq War
Poor Economy
Government’s Response to Katrina
Republican Scandals
Republicans acted like Democrats
President Bush’s policies
Liberal Media
Other:

OK, I’m checking Republicans acting like Democrats and Liberal Media those are for sure.  The other ones sound too much like blaming us.  I am also filling out other–”I believe it was due to a large number of illegal aliens being registered illegally by ACORN and Catholic Charities.”

2. What are the key strengths and beliefs of the Republican Party that we can build on? Check all that apply.

Social Issues
Family Values
Ethics
Free Markets
National Security
Fiscal Discipline
Limited Government
Personal Responsibility
Pro-Life
Other:

I’m checking them all and going with an other of  “I am continually amazed at our ability to stand up for morality as a party even when we as individuals sometimes fall short of it.  Our strong morals and our willingness put fiscal responsibility over giving handouts to lazy people who don’t want to get jobs and our willingness to stand up to terrorism by any means necessary including torture.”

3. What are the weaknesses of the Republican Party? Check all that apply.

Bad Messaging
Poor Response to Democrats
Republicans who don’t vote like Republicans
Standing Up for Principles
Need to Lead in Congress
Other:

No Other needed on this one.   We need to stop Republicans from voting like Democrats.  Once we find those people we need to deal with them.  We also need to lead in congress.  Let’s start demanding committee leaderships.  We did get almost half the votes.

4. What is the best way to encourage and register new voters in your community? Check all that apply.

Door-to-Door visits
Online Social Networking
E-mail
Personal Appearances by Republican Leaders in Your Area
Radio Ads
Interaction at Community Events
Online Advertising
Other:

How did they leave out gun shows?  Tell me that isn’t an obvious oversight.   NASCAR races is another nobrainer as are  conservative churches.  You find me a man with enough faith in God to antagonize a poisonous snake and I’ll show you a potential Republican.

5. What technology would you like to see the RNC make better use of to grow our Party? Check all that apply.

More Aggressive E-mail Campaigns
More Aggressive Text Messages
More Aggressive use of Twitter
More Social Networking Sites like Facebook and MyGOP
No Opinion
Other:

Michael Steele has convinced me, the best way to get our message out is by kickin some dope rhymes and layin down some mad lyrics.  “Obama don’t want your change.gov.  You’re worse than Doctor Strangelove.  You’re runnin up debt like MC Hamme.  Now the GOP’s gonna teach you manners.”   You can use that if you want just credit me.

6. What can the Republican Party do to earn and maintain your trust?

We live in a cynical, cynical world and politics is a business of touch competitors, but the party completes me.  I could no more leave this party than I could start recycling.  No matter what happens from here on out, you’ve got my support and I will always have your back.