That’s Right Nate

It has been a great Halloween at the Peele household so far.  My 13 year old daughter  Emily and I are here this afternoon before she goes to a party tonight.   Emily is dressed as a Sexy Supreme Court Justice.   She was very inspired by Justice Sotomayor’s hearings (don’t ask me why), but the only costumes they make for girls anymore are all sexy.     In the past, instead of passing out candy I have put an empty bowl on the porch with a note that said “Honor System, Take Only One Please”.  That seemed to work just fine.  Emily was always after me to pass out actual candy, but with my daughter barely at 5″7″ and pushing 120 pounds you can guess where half that candy was going to wind up.

As my longtime readers know, Halloween is very important to me.   There is a radical atheist movement in this country that is trying to remove all traces of Halloween’s Christian origins from the holiday.  This year I decided that I would give all trick or treaters Chick Tracts.   These are great comics that warn children of the dangers of sinful things like murder, homosexuality, Catholicism, and Dungeons and Dragons (2nd edition–3rd and 4th have yet to be declared evil, possibly because they use d20 systems).   The look of surprise on the faces of the neighbor children as I pass them out has been well worth it.

When we give into the radical atheists who wish to dechristianize Halloween we all lose.   We can’t allow the pagans and atheists who would take over this Christian holiday to have their way.  I get so irritated when I hear somebody wish me a happy pumpkin day because I know that they have avoided wishing me a Happy Halloween.   Remember, something hallow is something holy–what is a pumpkin day?  It just isn’t the same thing.   Well, it’s time for me to drive Emily to her little party–I can’t believe how girls dress nowadays.  I guess I’m lucky that she’s fat and not very attractive.   Have a great Halloween everybody!!

My friends, I don’t mind telling you that we find ourselves in a culture war.  The forces of radical atheism again threaten to rob this great country of the symbols of it’s freedom and it’s proud Christian heritage.   If these people have their way all traces of Halloween’s Christian roots would be erased and all references to Jesus would be stricken from Halloween parades, store displays, and the hopeful mouths of trick or treating Christian children.    We must all stand together against this atheistic tyranny.

One of the stories, atheists don’t want you to know is the story of the Jack O’Lantern.   In Ireland, Christians were persecuted for many centuries.  One of the reasons that St. Patrick was celebrated for driving the snakes from Ireland is because they used to feed Christian children to the snakes.   Christians were kept poor and not allowed to hold jobs.  Their possessions were simple, but their faith was mighty.

As the Irish traveled along the countryside at autumn harvest time looking for work picking crops, they were frequently met with signs that said Christians need not apply.   Even a non-Christian who hired a Christian to pick his crops faced persecution from the Irish King.   The Irish  needed a subtle symbol to let others know that they welcomed Christians and that the light of Jesus shined within them.   They came up with the idea of taking a pumpkin and carving a smiling face on it.   They then placed a candle inside the pumpkin and placed it in the window.

The Irish named this pumpkin Jack of the Light or the Americanized version, “Jack O’ Lantern”.   Nowadays, pumpkins are carved into the most grotesque and hideous shapes imaginable and the original meaning of the Jack O’Lantern has been lost.   This Halloween if you carve a pumpkin with your children I hope you’ll tell them the story of how the Jack O’Lantern saved Christianity in Ireland–one of the most Christian nations in the world today.

Supposedly, this is John McCain's Halloween Costume, but I assumed he'd be campaigning all day.

Ah, I love Halloween.  Sure, I know its evil and it is just a trick of the devil, but I figure one night a year won’t hurt.   I remember as a kid one year–I had the best Alexander Haig costume and a great James Lynn, but I never won a costume contest until 1980 when I went as Ronald Reagan.

As I got older, I reallized that going from door to door looking for free candy was pretty silly.  Now that kids come by my house I give them candy based on whether I like their costume or not.  I saw a couple of Sarah Palins and they got king sized snickers bars.  I saw one kid dressed as Elmo and not wanting my tax dollars to go to PBs I gave him a penny.  For costumes in between I usually give them a chance to earn better candy by debating me and once again I am discouraged by the quality of education in our public schools.  By third grade, a girl should be able to debate at least the rudimentary issues of free trade within the Western Hemisphere in regards to agricultural subsidies regardless of what her rude mother says.

Kids being kids, my house always gets pelted with at least a dozen eggs.  I used to get upset, but I figure that’s what employees are for.  It looks like this is going to be a big year for eggs and shaving cream.  Its money well spent.

I got tired of passing out candy so I just left a bowl outside with a note that says, “Honor System: Take one please”.  That note absolves me from the responsibility of actually putting candy in the bowl.  I think some of the kids are starting to get suspicious that my entire bowl full of candy gets stolen every year.  Happy Halloween!!