That’s Right Nate

Though I continue to see it as one of the gravest threats to our country, I don’t really know what the gay agenda is all about.   Needless to say I was shocked and dismayed to learn that they had gotten to Ricky Martin too.   Since he first burst on the scene with Menudo, I always thought that Ricky Martin had the machismo and Latin charisma of a young Cesar Romero. To find out that one of the music industry’s most eligible men is actually gay is shocking to say the least.

“I am proud to say that I am a fortunate homosexual man,” Martin wrote this week on his official web site. “I am very blessed to be who I am.”

There is no telling what other artists we thought were straight will come out in the days and weeks to come as the homosexual agenda continues to sweep across this continent in a rainbow colored wave of debauchery, but you can be sure that www.thatsrightnate.com will keep you updated.

First, a word of caution to all the father’s out there.   If your daughter gives you a permission slip to join the pom team at her school, make sure the ink hasn’t smeared before calling the school as an irate parent.   Pornography has been in the news this week so I guess that might be part of the problem.

Tom Coburn’s chief of staff, Michael Schwartz gave a speech for the Value Voters Summit last week that explained, “All pornography is homosexual pornography because all pornography turns your sexual drive inwards…Now, think about that. And if you tell an 11-year-old boy about that, do you think he’s going to want to get a copy of Playboy? I’m pretty sure he’ll lose interest. That’s the last thing he wants! You know, that’s a good comment, it’s a good point, and it’s a good thing to teach young people.”

This immediately brought a couple of questions to my mind:

1. If you read Playbody, but only the articles, will that turn you bisexual?
2. If somebody was already gay, would watching porn make them straight more efficiently than the current deprogramming methods?

However, what this really did for me is to make me feel even more sympathy for Carrie Prejean, the former Miss California USA contestant.   You see, Carrie is most famous for coming out against gay marriage at the Miss USA pageant that she totally would have won otherwise.  At the time liberals like Perez Hilton tried to make her out to be some kind of bigot, but her story is much more complex.

“I am a Christian, and I am a model. Models pose for pictures, including lingerie and swimwear photos,” explained Miss Prejean when a half dozen racy pictures of her surfaced.  Carrie looks amazingly attractive in those pictures and I can’t help, but think that many an 11 year old boy could spend a considerable amount of time studying them.  The problem is, as Michael Schwartz explained, this act will make them gay.   At which point, Miss Prejean will oppose their marriage.   I certainly don’t approve of the lifestyle, but I can’t help think that this is hypocritical when she helped to cause the gay lifestyle in the first place.

Our brave fighting men shouldn't have to put up with homosexual behavior in their ranks.

I’ve never been a big fan of don’t ask, don’t tell.   I think if you’re gay and somebody asks you, you should have to admit it.   However, I believe this policy is very important to keeping us safe.  Let’s try and take morality out of the question regardless of how difficult it is to look past the sinful lifestyles of homosexuals and try and analyze the situation fairly.

On the side for allowing homosexuals to serve openly is the fact that all other NATO countries do and our soldiers will be working with them anyway.   With the military overextended, we really can’t afford to lose about 650 soldiers every year under this policy especially when many potential gay recruits don’t join the military in the first place because of the policy.  Worse yet, some of the biggest shortages are in the areas of the most need–particularly Arab language translators. On the other hand, gays are kind of icky.   I mean God created Adam and Eve and not Adam and Steve.   Other than the whole eating from the tree of knowledge and getting kicked out of paradise thing, it seems to have served us very well.

The reason I’m writing on this topic is because of Rachel Maddow who I suspect may be gay herself.   She has short hair and never wears dresses.  She recently had a homosexual pilot on her show named Lt. Colonel Victor Fehrenbach. Talk about a flamer. I don’t think you’d have to ask to see that he was gay. We were supposed to feel all bad because the country spent $25,000,000 to train him and now was kicking him out. They said he was a hero because he was decorated in two theaters while serving in Iraq and Afghanistan. Now, we know the troops need their entertainment even in a fire fight, and sure gays have shown a lot of talent in theater, but there’s a lot more to fighting a war than being able to put on a reasonable version of Wicked on the front lines.

We are currently involved in two wars and there are a good number of hot spots where a third could break out. We need every able bodied man and woman from working class homes to join the war effort, but that doesn’t mean we need to start lowering our standards by accepting gays. We’ve already lowered them a little by accepting criminals (something I supported), but our military will only be strong as long as we have the moral high ground.

This map shows how I would divide gay marriage and non-gay marriage states. The West would be set aside as territories.

In  my article on Miss USA, I promised that today I would present my compromise idea for gay marriage.  Well, here it is.  I think this would eliminate a lot of trouble.

One of the biggest misconceptions about Republicans is that we hate gays.  We don’t.  We simply hate their disgusting and grotesque immoral behavior not the gays themselves.   They cut our hair, decorate our homes, and play lovable sidekicks on our situation comedies.  In fact, there is a group called the Log Cabin Republicans made up of a handful of gay Republicans who shared a cabin together one summer.   We may only have a handful of gays voting for us, but we do have those guys.  We love the sinner, not the sin.

I have been trying to come up with a solution to the whole gay marriage thing so that as a country we can move past it and I think I may have found one.   Let’s face the facts.   Gays really can’t get married no matter what we call it.  It’ll always be different from our opposite marriages.  That doesn’t mean their relationships shouldn’t get some sort of protection.   Even in states that allow gay marriage, homosexual couples actually have to file 2 different tax forms–one as a couple for the state and then seperately for the federal government.  If there is one thing Republicans hate, its complicated income tax.

I decided that gay marriage should count for something.   I guess its better than half a marriage, but how much?  It certainly isn’t worth 75% of a marriage.  I decided in an admittedly arbitrary way that a gay marriage should count for 3/5 of a marriage.   If one gay spouse dies, their partner would be eligible for 60% of survivor benefits.  They would be able to visit a partner in the hospital, but only 60% of the time.  Couples could file jointly, but their savings would only be at 60%.  In this way we recognize their sinful and repulsive relationship and don’t hold it up to the same status as opposite marriage.

I would also suggest that since the states that allow gay marriage are in the North, we should set a line at the Arkansas and Missouri border.  Anything South of that line should not allow gay marriage.  Anything North of that line should allow it, but only as 60% of a marriage.  I guess we would have to have wacko left coast states allow the 60% marriage and it wouldn’t fly in the mountain west at all.   This great 3/5 compromise will allow us to get on with other important issues.  It is an idea whose times has come.

This past Sunday was the Miss USA pageant and like I have for the past 10 or 15 years I have a Miss USA ritual.  I put on my pajamas and my fuzzy slippers and I on my comfortable chair with a pint of Haagen-Dazs ice cream and watch the whole thing from start to finish.  This year I have to admit I think I witnessed a robbery.  Miss California Carrie Prejean had everything going for her–a big smile, an up with people attitude, and a slightly anorexic figure that gave you a good glimpse of her ribcage.  Then she got a question from blogger and well known homosexual Perez Hilton:

Perez Hilton: “Vermont recently became the 4th state to legalize same-sex marriage. Do you think every state should follow suit. Why or why not?”

Prejean: “Well,  I think it’s great that Americans are able to choose one or the other. We live in a land where you can choose same-sex marriage or opposite marriage. And you know what, in my country, in my family, I think that I believe that a marriage should be between a man and a woman. No offense to anybody out there, but that’s how I was raised and that’s how I think it should be between a man and a woman. Thank you very much.”

As you can see Prejean didn’t come out against gay marriage as much for opposite marriage.   She came out for this great country where we can choose who we will allow to get married and who we won’t.  I thought this was a very positive message of inclusion, but unfortunately, that’s not how it was taken.  The gay agenda was quickly mobilized against Ms. Prejean and she went down in flames.

“It did cost me my crown,” Prejean continued. “It is a very touchy subject and [Hilton] is a homosexual, and I see where he was coming from and I see the audience would’ve wanted me to be more politically correct. But I was raised in a way that you can never compromise your beliefs and your opinions for anything.”

I believe that if nothing else, we look to our pageant contestants to stand up for their political beliefs.   We might not agree with them when they say who can get married or who can use what water fountain, but we should respect their beliefs. Charmaine Koonce, the mother of Miss New Mexico USA Bianca Matamoros-Koonce, supported Ms. Prejean saying, “In the Bible it says marriage is between Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve!”

I checked and she is right.  There is no Steve in the Book of Genesis and I think that other than the whole shame, getting kicked out of Paradise, and one of their sons killing the other one, Adam and Eve are the type of relationship that everybody should aspire to.  Despite her obvious correctness, the whole Miss USA thing got me thinking and I think I have found a solution to the entire problem of gay marriage in this country.  On Thursday, I will present on this very blog what I call the 60% solution to gay marriage.

What is often lost in discussions over single payer health care is the right of doctors to choose who they will provide medical treatment to and who they will not because they disapprove of their lifestyle.  There is an amazing new commercial out now by an anti-gay marriage group called NOM.   At first, I believed that their name came because they were planning on a long quagmire of a fight that they were pretty sure they would lose, but hoped that they could somehow get a negotiatied settlement because they feared homosexuality spreading, but in reality it stands for National Organization for Marriage.  Obviously, they don’t know my ex.

In the commercial, the woman who plays the California doctor  says, “I’m a California doctor who must choose between my faith and my job.”  Wow, that’s a powerful statement.  I began to think about why a doctor would have to choose between being a doctor and being a person of faith.  I thought of religious issues that might conflict a doctor.   Maybe the doctor believes abortion is murder or that birth control is a sin.   Then again, gay people really don’t need either of those things.   The doctor could be against euthenasia and have a patient with a do not resuscitate order, but that wouldn’t really be strictly a homosexual thing.  I suppose if the doctor was a Christian Scientist and believed that treating patients was sinful that could cause problems too.

It occurred to me that what this woman objected to could only be treating homosexuals and I imagine for some religions, it may be considered immoral to provide medical care to somebody who is living what you perceive as an immoral lifestyle.  A doctor should always have the right to refuse to treat patients that they believe are immoral, rude, or just creepy.   I refuse to go along with a society that demands that just because you show up at an emergency room with a gaping chest wound you must receive treatment.   How do they know that your chest wound wasn’t the result of a jealous husband shooting you when he caught you having an affair with his wife?  We must get big government out of medicine and let doctors treat those patients that they want to or don’t want to.   Haven’t we lived under the tyranny of the liberals demanding that everybody get medical treatment regardless of how they’ve lived their lives for long enough?

Oh Iowa, what have you done?  Will the rest of this country ever be able to look at a bunch of smartly clad men walking out of your cornfields together in the same way ever again?  Through a series of stunning movies, the state has clearly asserted itself as the Midwest’s center for debauchery much like California is in the West and New York in the East.  First they helped put Barack Obama on the national scene in the Democrat caucus, now they have legalized gay marriage,  and I bet there are other things too.

I apologize if I come off as angry today, it is just that I love this country and this isn’t the way it is supposed to happen.   The courts aren’t supposed to legislate.  That is the job of the people.  Does anybody really believe that at least some of the Southern states would have desegregated schools by now if the courts hadn’t intervened in the 1950s?  The courts do nothing for us, but cause trouble and strife.

What you’re get in Iowa now is a bunch of gays.  I don’t really have a problem with gay people, but there will be obvious changes to the state almost immediately.  Des Moines will no longer be pronounced (Damoyns), but will soon by called (Day Mwa).  Eventually, the entire state will be turned into a little Sadam or Gamoran right in the middle of our heartland.  Do we really believe Iowa’s trademark farmer’s tan can survive this?   Iowa was built by men who rarely had sex with their wives, let alone each other.

What I suspect happens is that you’ve got these people and we’ll they’re Christians.  They’re good people, they try to raise their kids the right way and all of that.   Then one day Jimmy gets bored of going to church and wanders into a gay pride parade.  He’s intrigued by the music and the bright colors and he starts to question his own sexuality.  Before long he’s starting to notice that other men are attractive and within a year or two he’s on top of a float in a gay pride parade dressed like one of the Village People.

We need to put a stop to this and hit Iowa where it hurts.  According to the Made in Iowa website, their number one seller is the Iowa Country Barn Burner Mustard made by the Dennison Mustard Company of Western Iowa.  Until the God fearing people of Iowa put a ban back on gay marriage I’m calling on my readers to quit using all Dennison Mustard Company products.  If we really make it hurt in the wallet, Iowa will come to its senses.

This week Barrack Obama announced that he had selected Rick Warren of California’s Saddleback Mountain Church to give the blessing at his inauguration.  Surprisingly, this simple matter has drawn the ire of the homosexual agenda.  The problem that some people have with the good reverend stem from some comments that his Saddleback Mountain Church has made about homosexuals.

Warren’s has specifically said that as homosexuality is clearly listed as a sin in the Bible homosexuals are not to be allowed at Saddleback Mountain.  This seems extremely fair to me.  They point out the scripture:

“Homosexuality is absolutely forbidden, for it is an enormous sin.” (Lev. 18:22)

They also have been putting intense pressure on the Red Lobster chain of restaurants for similarly violating scripture:

“Whatsoever hath no fins nor scales in the waters, that shall be an abomination unto you.”(Lev. 11:12)

The godless agenda of both the homosexuals and of the lobster lobby have united to denounce The Saddleback Mountain Church for their sincere attempts to bring the strictures of Leviticus into the modern world.  This to me is a real shame.  I don’t care how people may turn on Rick Warren and Saddleback Mountain Church, I can’t quit them.

In addition to the Presidential Election, there are ballot initiatives in California and Florida to outlaw gay marriage.  Regardless of the outcome of the big election tonight, this may actually be more important.  I join with the Mormon church in strongly opposing this threat to the sanctity of marriage which should be reserved for the relationship between a man and women.

What really bothers me isn’t the marriage so much as the children.  Has anybody even stopped to think about that.  As soon as we let gays marry they’ll want to have little gay children.  I for one don’t want a lot of little pintsized gays bringing up a lot of awkward questions for me to answer from my children–impeccable fashion sense notwithstanding.

Marriage is a beatutiful thing reserved for heterosexual couples or (in deference to the Mormoms who are funding opposition in California) groups.  A wife is somebody who will always be there for you through thick and thing for richer and poorer and not leave you for the neighbor across the street because you have to work late at your self storage business.  That’s sanctity and that’s why I support opposing gay marriage in all its forms.

With the looney left having threatened the very institution of marriage by allowing gays in California to marry, we finally have some men of decency stepping forward to say, “Not in my country.”  S.J. Res 43 is a joint resolution to propose a Constitutional amendment to  limit marriage to a relationship between one man and one woman and I say its about time.

Co-sponsors David Vitter and Larry Craig openned themselves up to personal criticism after revelations last year that Vitter was a client of the now deceased DC Madam and Craig was mistakenly arrested for lewd behavior in the Minneapolis airport.  Still, these men of concious and their 7 other co-sponsors know that when marriage is threatened they have a responsibility to take a stand regardless of how hypocritical it may appear.

We applaud Vitter, Craig, and the 7 other sponsors for seeing a threat to the American family and rising up to do something about it.  I urge all readers of my blog to write to their congressmen and let them know that you want them to join with Vitter and Craig to protect wholesome family values.