That’s Right Nate

Veteran of the Culture Wars - Lou Dobbs

Today, millions of Americans were off from work because of Veterans Day, but I wonder how many really thought about why they were off.  Veterans Day is a day to think about those brave few who gave so much for this country.  I do this in the way I have since I was a small child, by watching war movies.   Nothing says “thank you” to our country’s veterans like watching their exploits dramatized on cable television.  One of my regrets in life is that I was unable to serve in the military.  Unfortunately for me, my family was well off and I really had no option other than college, but I like to think I would have been  a great soldier.  The American fighting man is the best in the world and we do them a grave disservice when we don’t use them.  To our veterans who served when their country needed them, I thank you.

It seems fitting that Lou Dobbs would leave CNN today.   Like me, Dobbs isn’t a veteran of trench warfare, but he is a veteran of the culture wars.   Nobody has done more to heighten the fear of middle America to the dangers of illegal aliens.   I hope he winds up on Fox News or runs for public office, but I want everybody to remember the sacrifice that he has made for all of us, especially if he has to take a job at Univision or something.  Lou and I aren’t soldiers, but we have been wounded in this cultural war and we continue to try and fight the good fight.  Isn’t that what Veterans Day is all about?

Happy Saint Jing-Tao-Wow Eve.  As you know, Saint Jing-Tao-Wow Day is America’s newest holiday.  First created by Lou Dobbs, and promoted by myself and several other bloggers, Saint Jing-Tao-Wow Day is a celebration of the ethnic stereotypes that bind us all together.  Go on out there and indulge to your heart’s content.  I will say between the Pakistani cab drivers, Chinese drivers, and Irish drinkers–tomorrow is probably a good day to stay off the road.  As envisioned by the great Loud Dobbs, this day shows us that all Americans who enterred the country have had to deal with stereotypical bullshit as we’ve tried to find our place in this world.  Before Mexicans were taking all our jobs, it was Irish, Italians, Germans, Jews, Chinese, and Polish.  May you all have a wonderful Saint Jing-Tao-Wow Eve and be sure to toon in tomorrow for a recap of my activities for the day.  Do be sure to check out the interview with me at Zenyenta’s site. I think I did a good job explaining WASP culture for the uninitiated.  I like opportunities like this to broaden understanding.

I’ve received a number of comments and questions about St. Jing-Tao-Wow Day and I thought I’d answer them all at one place.

What is St. Jing-Tao-Wow Day? Saint Jing-Tao-Wow Day is a new American holiday that was created after listenning to Lou Dobbs.  The day celebrates the ethnic stereotypes that unite our country and will be celebrated on Tuesday March 31st.  To hear Lou Dobbs’ comments on the holiday try this link .

Why ethnic stereotypes? This country has long been under the belief that we are great because we are a melting pot of all the immigrant groups already in this country.  However, the next immigrant group whether it be Irish, Italians, Asians, or Mexicans are the ones who will really mess this place up.  This attitude has led to a lot of ethnic jokes, slurs, and stereotypes and I think it is good for us to remember exactly what was said about our own people because it reminds us not to be so quick to stereotype other cultures. It is basically an ethnic version of a gay pride parade.   I am sure this is what Lou Dobbs meant when he called for a “We’re all the same day”

How can I participate? Like all great holidays, I expect that everybody will come up with their own way to keep it in their heart, but spreading the word will help spread the holiday.  If you have a blog mention it.  If you post on a forum please mention it there.  The only way a holidy can take off is through word of mouth.   Join the Facebook event group started by Richard Wang (Thanks!) and check out some of the great posts about the holiday on the internets at Zenyenta 2.0, Just My Little Piece of the World, and Fair.org.   Of course there is the Saint Jing-Tao-Wow Day video on the Youtubes also. When the day comes, celebrating is as simple as picking an activity that is stereotypical for your ethnic group and doing it whether that means playing basketball, building a submarine with a screen door, or driving poorly.   Then come here and post about it.

What kind of food is served for the holiday? Any ethnic food is appropriate, but even more appropriate is Americanized ethnic food like Olive Garden, Panda Express, or Taco Bell.

I don’t have an ethnic group.  Can I still participate? Wasp is still an ethnic group you goof.  Go oppress some minorities and then dance really poorly.

Does Lou Dobbs know about this? Lou is very busy right now defending our borders, but I’d like to think that if we all believe in Saint Jing-Tao-Wow hard enough, Mr. Dobbs will know.

I’m really pushing this holiday folks.  I don’t know if my little blog has the gravitas needed to give this idea the push it needs, but over the next 12 days, I’m going to be pushing hard for Saint Jing-Tao-Wow Day wherever I can on the internet.  I think Lou Dobbs has inspired me  and I feel compelled to act.  Let’s spread the word.

A famous Chinese philosopher once said, “Chee chung chee chung chee chung.  Cho Ching Chung Chee”.    An even more famous American philosopher by the name of Lou Dobbs said only Tuesday, “”And by the way, I’ve got to wish to you, each and every one, Happy Saint Patrick’s Day! I do that, and I have to be honest with you, despite my fervent anti-ethnic holiday position. That’s right! I’m against St. Patrick’s Day. I’m against St. Columbus Day. Saint Joseph’s Day. I’m against all of those things. Is there, by the way, is there a Jewish, a Jewish ethnic holiday? Is there one? No? Okay. The Jews have disappointed me. I mean, is there a St. Mauritius? No? A Belize? I don’t know. We gotta have — there’s gotta be something else going on here! How about an Asian ethnic holiday? Is there one? You know, a Saint-Jing- Tao- Wow? Chinese New Year? All right, we can do that … I mean, what is with all of these ethnic holidays? I mean how about an American Day? How about were all the same kind of day?”

I was thinking that the 4th of July kind of celebrated Americans as does Thanksgiving, but not really our sameness.    It occurred to me that what unites all of us as a country are ethnic stereotypes and the people who have propagated them out of fear that we would mess up the great little country they had here.  OK, The Indians may have been right, but otherwise from the 18th Century Germans in Pennsylvania to the Mexicans of today, this melting pot has always been just one more ingredient away from going bad so on March 31st let’s all celebrate the patron saint of ethnic and racial stereotyping Saint Jing-Tao-Wow.

Now, everybody can keep this day in their heart with their own traditions.  I think celebrating the efforts of people like Lou Dobbs to keep this country pure is a great start, but let’s not stop there.  Let’s really celebrate those stereotypes.   I plan on oppressing minorities and then dancing really poorly.  If you’re Irish why not polish off a case of beer or have unprotected sex.  Germans do something really efficiently and without humor.  African-Americans–geez, take your pick.  You guys are lucky you get so many.  You Swedes, uhm I’ll get back to you.

When you decide how you plan to celebrate Saint Jing-Tao-Wow day proudly post it in the comments section.  If you have your own blog and want to advance this holiday then post and we’ll give you some linky love.  Remember, we’re doing this for Lou Dobbs.   Let’s go out there and celebrate our stereotypes March 31st.  Spread the word.

UPDATE: Check out the Saint Jing-Tao-Wow Day Video

The great .   If only there head been men like him here during the potato famine so that he could have turned the boats away from Ellis Island.  Now, unlike me Mr. Dobbs has nothing against the Irish.  His problem is with ethnic holidays.  Still his point makes a lot of sense.  What gave the Irish the right to have their own day?  Why don’t the Jews have any Saints days?  Lou Dobbs is even against Saint Columbus Day.

My main problem with St. Patrick’s Day is that the Irish are drinkers and since they’re Catholic they don’t use birth control.  As a result every December comes a new Mary Elizabeth or Patrick John out into the world with no discernible skills and ties to big labor.  What Mr. Dobbs has called for is a day for us to celebrate the fact that there isn’t one iota of difference among any of us, I mean except Mexicans of course.  He would like an American Day and I agree.  We need a day not to celebrate a bunch of drunken Irish, but to celebrate what it truly means to be an American on non-Mexican origin. I for one like the sound of that.

You don’t have to watch Lou Dobbs for very long to reallize just what a threat the United States has on its Southern border.  Even semi-legitimate organizations like the US Hispanic Chamber of Commerce “is effectively an organization that is interested in the export of American capital and production to Mexico and Mexico’s export of drugs and illegal aliens to the United States. This is crazy stuff.”

We must get control of the Mexico situation.  The Mexican towns on the border with the United States are  getting more and more dangerous as drug fueld violence is escalating.  Illegal immigrants continue to flood into the United States and As Mr. Dobbs has pointed out Mexican immigrants are responsible for the health care crisis, our failing schools, the economic downturn, the failure of the war in Iraq, and leprosy.

I have an idea that will solve the Mexican problem and help our economy at the same time.  Back in 1847, the United States sent General Zachary Taylor into Mexican territory where 11 soldiers were killed by the Mexican cavalry in what became known as the Thornton affair.  As a result, the United States plunged into the Mexican-American War–a war that brough us both Texas and California.  By sending troops down to Mexico we can start a war that gives us a legitimate claim to a large chunk of Mexican territory.  Unlike Islamic extremists, most of Mexico would be thrilled to be conquered.    We could use this area (which I would place just South of Monterey) as a sort of proving ground for Mexicans who want to come into the United States proper.   Believe it or not, it would reduce the size of our border with Mexico too if we want to build a fence.

This is the time for bold thinking.  It is an excellent time for provoking a war–not a depressing war that goes on forever, but a quick and decisive vicyory that can revive our economy.