That’s Right Nate

In the 1980s, I felt a special kinship to Michael Jackson.  You see, I had lost one of my gloves and my parents disapproving of my irresponsible behavior didn’t want to reward me by buying me a new pair so in the winter of 1984, I spent a lot of time wearing only one glove.   Kids would laugh at me, but  then Thriller came out and suddenly I was the cool one.  I missed a lot of big stories while I was gone.  Not the least was Michael’s death.   Here’s my commentary with help from the King of Pop.

Keep on with the force don’t stop.  Don’t stop til you get enough.

Norm Coleman finally lost his battle to Al Franken for the Minnesota senate seat.   I should really say he got it stolen away.   Coleman would still be Senator except that 300 more people voted for Franken.   I see people protesting the coup in Honduras and the repression in Iran, but where is Norm’s support.   We really need a place to go where this can be argued after the Supreme Court.   Now, Obama will reach out to Republicans even less than he has.   What a dictator.  Just because we won’t vote for him doesn’t mean we don’t want to be asked.

Got to be there in the morning when she says hello to the world.  Got to be there, got to be there. Bring her good times and show her she’s my girl.

I am thrilled to find out that Mark Sanford is still alive.  I can’t believe the crap people are giving him.   What a politician does in Thailand or Argentina is none of their business.  It reminds me of when I was in college.  I was dating a Canadian supermodel from Canada and people were jealous.  They used to give me a hard time about it.  It didn’t help when she signed a deal with a wallet company so everybody had a picture of her just like the one she sent me.   I worry that this scandal and John Ensign’s affair may be distracting from our pro-marriage message.

Leave me alone-Stop it! Just stop doggin’ me around. Just stop doggin’ me

Michelle Bachman’s opposition to the census is a courageous stand.   I have never believed in censuses.  Afterall, baby Jesus would have had a proper bed to be born in if Mary and Joseph didn’t have to go to Bethlehem for a census.  Besides, we all know that math has a liberal bias and that once the numbers are counted it will hurt the Republicans.  I prefer relying on my faith in God to tell me how many people live in this country and not some Washington bureaucrat.

They told him don’t you ever come around here.  Don’t want to see your face you better disappear.  The fire’s in their eyes and their words are really clear so beat it.

When Hugo Chavez tried to claim that the United States instigated the coup in Honduras, he ran right up against President Obama condemning that same coup.  It caused a Venezuelan opposition party to label him “The George Bush of Latin America”.   I’m assuming that by that they mean an upright man of faith and strong personal convictions who rules the country to economic prosperity and world dominance.    Sorry, that doesn’t sound like Chavez at all.

And no message could have been any clearer if you want to make the world a better place take a look at yourself then make a change.

This last story reaffirms my faith in God.   When Joe the Plumber was asked about potentially running for office he said, “You know I talked to God about it and he was like “no”.   If there was ever proof needed that God was looking out for us here on Earth, I think that’s it.

As usual, the convention was amazing.

I just returned from what should have been one of the greatest week’s of my life.   Very few people are lucky enough to attend the Great Lakes Regional Public Storage Expo and Convention, which in my mind is the Super Bowl of self-storage conventions.   They are doing amazing things with corrugated cardboard and I don’t mind telling you that within 5 years, it will revolutionize the way we pack things.  My song parody “The Locks I Love” (sung to The Look of Love) was a huge hit and even bigger than last year’s Baby Got Box.  I did quite well at self-storage pictionary too.  The father of modern storage facility management Martin Loviglio not only talked with me, but recognized me.   I even got to see the United States beat Brazil 2-0 in some soccer tournament at the hotel bar between conferences.

Then I came back.  I discovered that my good name had been run through the dirt at a variety of websites simply because I dared to use my first amendment rights to question whether Obama had murdered South Carolina Governor Mark Sanford.   Well my friends, I’m rested, invigorated and ready to take on such liberal bastions as Intershame , Wordsmoker, and Balloon-Juice as well as a myriad of forums and message boards.   Look, I’ll be the first to admit that I was probably wrong about Obama murdering Sanford, but as I’ve said before, politicians have a responsibility to avoid not just impropriety, but the appearance of impropriety.  Obama deserves just as much of the blame as I do because it was his behavior that enabled me to mistakenly accuse him of murder.  Obama may not have murdered the governor of South Carolina, but there are 49 other states and for their sakes, we need to remain ever vigilant.

It appears that Mark Sanford was alive and well. He was simply talking to the Russian government about seceding from the United States. While I am obviously no fan of Obama’s it is a load off my mind to know that he has not killed Governor Sanford. I guess we won’t know until Sanford returns to South Carolina, but the above link seems pretty legit. They even used me as a source.

I will be out of town for the rest of this week and the weekend. For those of you unaware, this is the week of the big Great Lakes Regional Public Storage Expo and Convention. This is basically, the Super Bowl of self-storage conventions. Supposedly, Martin Loviglio will be there. Martin is basically the father of the modern self-storage business and designed many of the box shapes and sizes that are still used in the industry today. I met him back in 1996 and it was a highlight. He had so many self-storage stories, I could have talked to him all night. Some people prefer the big SSA trade show in Vegas, but for me you can’t beat the GLRPSEC.

Recently, one of our most loyal readers, Lola successfully defended her PHD in English Literature (Yay Lola!!). As you know, I recently received an honorary associates degree from Sawyer College in General Studies and I have not defended it. I feel that boxing champions and people with advanced degrees should defend. I will answer Lola’s 15 topics as my defense. I will defend it against all comers when I return. Until I talk to you all again next week, let us not say goodbye, but as we say in the self-storage game, “Be Back in 5 Minutes”

Update: No sooner do I start packing for my trip, than our own Congressman Jack Kimble (R-CA) gets a nice writeup on the amazing Political Carnival blog.   He hasn’t been on Twitter very long, but I told him he’d get fans if he joined.

In a chilling story that seems more at home on a television police drama than in a conservative political blog, South Carolina Governor Mark Sanford has gone missing.   The South Carolina Governor emerged as an early and outspoken opponent of President Barrack Hussein Obama’s stimulus funding and even refused to take federal money.  The Republican Governor was last seen on Thursday when he was sighted in a South Carolina Law Enforcement Vehicle.  His wife has no idea where he is.

There is no doubt that Sanford’s opposition to Obama’s stimulus plan made him a very powerful enemy with a powerful motivation to silence him.   While, I won’t accuse the President of foul play myself, I certainly hope that state and federal law enforcement officials are building a case already.   Concern can be felt throughout South Carolina where Sanford was seen as a potential future Presidential candidate himself.   Concerned South Carolinians have started the Twitter Channels #wheressanford and #marksanford.  Even the Democrats have started to worry.   State Senate Minority Leader John Land said in a statement. “We’re praying for him and his family. I hope he is safe and that he contacts the First Lady and his family soon.”

Obama apologists have claimed the Sanford simply needed some time away from his kids, but it makes little sense that a conservative that has run on a family values platform would disappear on his wife and kids for 4 days including Father’s Day weekend with no way for them to contact him.  He had important state business to take care of  yet neither the governor’s office nor the State Law Enforcement Division, which provides security for governors, had been able to reach him  said Sen. Jake Knotts and three others familiar with the situation but declined to be identified.

The easiest way for us to solve this case is to find Mark Sanford or his decomposing body as quickly as possible.  Failing that, we must begin to put the pieces together.   Were their any suspicious motorcades seen around the Governor’s residence?  Obama smokes and cigarette butts are often a very valuable way of using DNA testing to tie the perpetrator to the crime scene.   I am sure that regardless of your political views, you will agree that murdering a sitting governor is a very serious crime and one that Obama should be punished for if he is found guilty.

Update:Hilary Clinton has also been out of the limelight since her supposed arm injury. Since Hilary has already been implicated in the David Foster murder and the first killing of Gandy Baugh, I would suggest that South Carolina authorities be on the look out for her. Also, if witnesses or suspects talk about a one armed woman, do not just brush them off.

Today on This Week, South Carolina Governor Mark Sanford warned today that Barack Obama could be “as bad for the middle class” as Bill clinton was.  Stating that like Obama, Clinton said he wanted tax cuts for the middle class, Sanford raised the dire warning the an Obama presidency could wreak the same havoc on the economy of middle class Americans that Bill Clinton did.  Sanford who is considered a potential Republican Presidential nominee in 2012 favors tax breaks for corporations which would then trickle down to the average American the way that they have under President Bush.  With mere hours left before the election, Obama will have to work furiously to separate himself from Clinton’s economic legacy.