That’s Right Nate

As regular readers of my blog know, I am a huge collector of Precious Moments figurines.  The ones that I truly appreciate are the rare limited edition ones.  This week, I immediately bought 6 copies of Our Love is the Bridge to Happiness.  Normally, I would only buy one for the empty spot on top of my mantle, but this particular figurine is a limited edition.  Because it is rare it is seen as a status symbol.   That’s why whenever I am flirting with a woman I never fail to mention to her about all the rare precious moment figurines I have.   Hopefully, this will one day lead to an opportunity to show that woman the figurines for herself.

Just like Precious Moments, The Republican Party has made a move in the right direction by becoming rarer itself.  We have now become an elite party.  When there were all sorts of moderates running around like Arlen Specter or Gerald Ford anybody could be a Republican.   Now, it takes strict adherence to very rigid principles that most people in public office could never do–either their empathy or their intellect would get in the way.  That is why even though we are leaner, we are now more powerful than ever.  Everybody now knows, if you’re a Republican you are elite.

Soon, people will reallize what an elite brand we are and when that happens we will be in great demand like any limited supply.  This will help us in elections because while not everybody can own a Ferrari, that won’t stop ordinary people from wanting to.   Voting Republican will be a new status symbol.  As an added bonus, we have a very unified message.   When we were larger, nearly half the party thought Bush was taking the country in the wrong direction.  Now that that half of the party is gone, I’d wager that all the remaining Republicans approve of the job Bush did or see him as too liberal.  It is much easier to stay unified and on message with a smaller group.   The moderate purge must continue until we become even more elite.  Only then can we really lead.

I remember when my daughter was in first grade.  She ran out of school crying.  I asked her why and she told me that Poopy Head had called her a name.  Now, I knew some of the people in her class, but I had no idea who Poopy Head was.   It turns out it was a boy named Brett who had made fun of her.  She was so upset that she couldn’t call him by his name anymore so she started calling him Poopy Head.

I totally can relate.   Today, as a party we are stepping forward to do exactly the same thing.  In an email sent out to 168 RNC members on Wednesday, RNC committeeman James Bopp stated, “The proposed resolution acknowledges that and calls upon the Democrats to be truthful and honest with the American people by renaming themselves the Democrat Socialist Party.  Just as President Reagan’s identification of the Soviet Union as the ‘evil empire’ galvanized opposition to communism, we hope that the accurate depiction of the Democrats as a Socialist Party will galvanize opposition to their march to socialism.”

I think this idea has a lot of merit to it.   Don’t forget the Bush’s huge foreign policy success achieved by using the moniker Axis of Evil.  As any Captain and Tennille fan will tell you  a catchy name goes a very long way.   Look how well we did calling torture harsh interrogation.   The only problem is I wonder how many people even know what a socialist is anymore.   I think we may be better off calling them the Stinky Party or the Stupid Party.  Maybe the Stinky Stupids.  I definitely think that we should stop calling ourselves the Republicans.  Like Blackwater, when your reputation gets tarnished enough it may be time to change your name.  I really like the sound of the Guns and God Party.