That’s Right Nate

To paraphrase Sarah Palin, I have seen the future of politics in this country and I am happy to report that it is overwhelming white, Southern, and middle-aged.  I left behind my 3 day stay at the Tea Party National Convention feeling like I was leaving summer camp, but at the same time hopeful for the future.   My fellow tea party patriots and I had an amazing time and the price tag of over $1,000 now seems like a paltry sum to be at the center of a grassroots movement so strong that corporate sponsors like The Heritage Foundation and Freedomworks had no choice, but to sponsor.

Sarah Palin gave the keynote for Saturday night looking resplendent with a new hair style that wouldn’t have been out of place on the drummer for Winger or any other hair metal band of 15 years ago.   She came to speak to the people and she didn’t need a fancy teleprompter.  Sarah Palin was able to connect with her audience the old fashioned way, with spontaneity and a hand full of crib notes.   Her talk was full of passion and inspired the entire room, but what I remember first was when she talked about how she reacted to her ticket losing the Presidential Election.   Rather than dwelling on her defeat, she asked herself what she could do to best help this country moving forward and that’s when she resigned from public office.  Throughout the speech, Sarah never let us forget she was a mom.  This was a woman who was almost the female Joe Biden, but she still managed to throw in references to her children Piper, Yeti, and Trig.

Yesterday, ironically, would have been Ronald Reagan’s 99th birthday.   I believe it’s a nationally tragedy that we will regret for many years to come that we did not cryogenically freeze him when we had the chance.   Ronald Reagan was a national treasure and he is sincerely missed.

Today is the Super Bowl and it’s very easy to get caught up in the excitement of the big game, but let’s remember the real meaning of today–a child was born in humble circumstance so that he could one day save us all.   Let’s not forget to salute Tim Tebow on this day of all days.   My prediction for the game is that the Colts will beat the Saints 38-17.   I just think they are the more God fearing team.

Hello and welcome to the future.   I am making my annual set of predictions for the new year.   It is really easy for people to scoff at things to come, but remember people ignored my prediction last year that Tiger Woods would get caught cheating on his wife with 11 different women.  Now without further adieu, here are the predictions:

• Tim Tebow’s NFL draft stock will take a huge hit at the scouting combine when he is inexplicably raptured up to Heaven.
• While politicians and world leaders are worried about a variety of crises, it will be a celebrity scandal that has the country strangely glued to their television sets.
• An entrepreneur will come along with a great idea to save public education while simultaneously making himself a great deal of money.
• A major scandal will befall Chicago’s Daley administration, but the mayor will be exonerated when it turns out that it was a rogue underling who was responsible as in previous Chicago political scandals.
• Tensions will escalate in the Middle East
• A new hip hop hit will reach number one on the charts because of an attractive singer and a good beat, despite unintelligible lyrics.
• Tea party activists will make up with enthusiasm for what they lack in spelling.
• Despite the republic already being destroyed by the Senate vote on health care, it will be destroyed another two dozen times this year.
• Charter Schools will demonstrate that you get better teachers when you lower their pay, worsen their working conditions, and increase their hours.  Meanwhile, the same people funding these charters will be aghast at efforts to curb their bonuses at $500 million per year.
• A Hollywood actress will generate a lot of buzz when she makes herself appear uglier for a part.
• The recession will finally end when the American public discovers they can make a large amount of money in their free time by raising chinchillas.
• Dick Cheney will have a major disagreement with something the Obama administration does this year.
• New technology will make it easier for us to stay connected with the people in our lives despite having less and less to tell these people creating a new market for people who are able to text interesting things.
• Impressed with the financial success of giving Jay Leno the 10:00 hour weekdays, NBC experiments will putting infomercials from 9:00 to 10:00 and reruns of the Andy Griffith Show from 8:00 – 9:00.   Their ratings continue to drop from the 9PM to 10PM hours.
• Two words – Monkey Butlers.

You can be sure if any of these predictions come true, I’ll be back at the beginning of 2011 to rub it in.